I am wandering am I smothering the girl that I am dating?

I have been dating her for over 5 mths - dates have been far apart. However, we have went on a week trip for vacation, spend some time together, etc. She seems a afraid to get back in a relationship after being divorced-I treat her like a queen, buy her gifts, etc. However, I feel like she is getting turn off by me. How do I keep from being put in the friend zone? We used to text or talk everyday-now it seems like I am the one doing most of the work. Yet she seems to have some interest still?


Most Helpful Girl

  • quit buying her so many gifts and doing all the giving- I've heard to give as much as you get. Have you been giving and not getting anything back from her?

    I think at this point and time you should play a little hard to get- back off from doing all the initiating, I promise she will wonder why the guy who has been giving her all this attention has now suddenly stopped.

    • So, if I just wait for her to reach out to me in some way(usually text). How should I respond? If she ask to have lunch - should I not be available? Or she may just text to say hello-how do I respond?

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    • should not be the one initiating everything and always buying her things. If she is inititating then she is interested.

    • Thanks for your thoughts...This is where I am- I saw her last week for lunch. I brought up becoming eclusive. She said that she needed think about what she wanted. We normally talk, usually text everyday-I felt like she was wanting space. So, I haven't initiated anything since last week-Friday. She text me yesterday with small talk stuff- I answered with small talk. Nobody did anything today - I am wandering what to do. I have the mindset to just let her do all the initiating but is that too muc

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Try having a sincere conversation with her about communication or how things are different and what you could do to change that, if you both want to.


What Guys Said 2

  • First off , stop buying her gifts and stuff because it's not going to make things better at all. I hate to break it to you my man but it's time to move on and find someone who wants to be in a relationship. I know it sucks that you spent money and invested time , but that's the dating game for you. If you've been dating for 5 months and she's still not ready for a relationship, then it's time to move on , but that's just my opinion.

  • Yeah it seems she not that into you. Maybe your behavior reminds her of her past mistakes, I don't know. Or maybe you're a rebound.

    You should ask her what's going on, at this age range, people should be able to have mature conversations.

    But it seems she's not reciprocating.