Am I a bad person for rejecting advances from girls I'm not interested in?

This is probably gonna sound mean but I'm gonna ask anyways. I have quite a few platonic female friends. They're not unattractive but I personally don't want to date them. Two of them are getting married this year. (Not too each other) so in general I feel comfortable hanging around girls. Other people notice how often I'm by myself in a group of girls and start talking to me. A lot of people think I'm gay until they see me with my bruhs or my current interest. I personally don't like getting hit on by people I don't find attractive but I try to be nice but frequently my niceness gets misunderstood as openness to a relationship and I end up having girls that really annoy me that I can't seem to get to understand I'm not interested. So overtime I built up a slightly jaded reaction towards girls that I know are hitting on me that I don't want to date which is actually the majority of girls who talk to me. I'm not mean or anything I just blatantly ignore their advances. I don't think I'm a mean guy but it's almost impossible to get a girl to understand you're only being nice and that your not interested. I tend to put a lot of thought into who I want to date and in no way do I base it all on looks. sometimes I honestly just feel like I wouldn't enjoy dating a person but I've heard rumors popping up lately that I'm a jerk and stuck up and stuff. I guess it's because I rarely actually date anyone. Been in college three years and only met three girls I wanted to date and one of them was a friend from high school. It's starting to become a problem because girls I've never met or don't remember meeting have started glaring at me. I also ignore eye contact a lot to avoid leading people on. I see a lot of blatant signs to get my attention but I tend to ignore them. I don't like rushing into relationships. And it seems to only get worse each year. What am I suppose to do to change this?

I wrote way too much sorry :\


Most Helpful Guy

  • It doesn't make sense to go out with girls you don't want to. So I'm not sure what you think you might be doing wrong. It would be better if more of them took your gentle hints so you didn't need to ignore them. Do you feel like this has become rude? Or is it mostly a concern that others will think you are too picky? Even if they did, it's really not their business. You are free to make your own choices and as long as you are not hurting anyone they have no say in this. If you are concerned about the effects of ignoring them, you could always be civil and formal with them and then excuse yourself on some pretense to leave before long. That should get the message across without being unkind.


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