Will playing hard to get hurt your chances with an ex?

My ex is the king of mixed messages. We were hanging out very regularly and he was messaging me every day. I barely lifted a finger to get in touch with him! Very eager. Then, about a week ago, I decided to stop talking to him because he said some rather heartless things about the prospects of getting back together. I decided that I didn't need to keep up the charade, so I started to taper off. He got really desperate and changed his tune REAL quick, hit me up via text AND FB, but I didn't bite except to nicely tell him to get his $hit together.

A week of NC goes by, and I've committed to not talking to him for at least a month while I visit my mom in another city. Suddenly, he starts popping up again. at first by just saying "Hi!", then moving it up to questions about how it is staying with my mom, a texted photo of him playing a video game he knows I want. After this is going on for three days, I finally respond to the video game text, and he answers instantly. We talk about the game for a bit, and then, after that topic dies, he tries to ask me how things are going at my mom's house, says the photos I've been posting look like fun. I decided to not answer, even though I probably could have kept that conversation going (and did I ever want to). I decided that it might not be a bad idea to withhold answers about my personal life. I just worry he's going to think I'm a b*tch for abruptly ignoring a specific question and not telling him all the things he wants to know or for waiting to answer him. I just don't want him to think I'm making him a priority, even though I still want to reconcile with him, and also trying to put value on myself as someone he has to work for. I worry a little because he used to obsessively look at my Tumblr on a daily basis, but he's stopped... though maybe he's realized FB stalking is better... he has clearly seen the photos I've put up recently.

I guess my question is more for guys. Do you think he is expressing interest? He hasn't really made his intentions clear so I don't want to get sucked into the same cycle. Is it better to play it like this for a little bit? Will it get him more intrigued or make him try harder? Should I keep it like this until he actually says something worthwhile about fixing things or what?



Most Helpful Guy

  • You should not play hard to get with him. You should, however, candidly express your disinterest in playing phone tag with him if he is not serious about reconciling with you . Go on to explain to him that he needs to make his intentions known to you before you invest your time, as you are not interested in a platonic friendship with him. Thus, the ball is in his court. Then, leave it at that until he replies with his answer.

    To answer your second question, he is expressing interest in you. But, that's not enough, now is it? What you really want to know is, what will it lead to and how soon. Because of that, either he is on board and you stay, or he is not and you leave. That should be implicit in your tone and throughout your choice of words.

    Don't settle for anything less!


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What Guys Said 2

  • Playing hard to get, leads to you being alone.

  • Playing hard to get, means you won't get got.


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