I met up with an old college female friend for the first time in 5 years. We live in the same city now. Had a wonderful time, probably the best time I've had with a girl, we had so much in common and just non-stopped talked the whole time. She was staying stuff like "we HAVE to hang out all the time", mentioning constant, specific future plans like fairs, concerts, road trips. Right after, she texted saying it was great to see me with smiley and then the next day she texted me out of nowhere just to say hey.
One problem: she apparently has a boyfriend living in another state. She mentioned him when we met up. But because she had dressed up to meet me and those texts and the fun we had, I thought maybe perhaps she was looking around still (we're the same age while her boyfriend is quite a few years older).
We made plans to meet the next week. Then she canceled the morning we were supposed to meet up because...her boyfriend surprised her by flying in.
She was so apologetic and tried twice over the next month to hang out again (once for movies and another for dinner, apologizing each time), but I just made excuses. She eventually stopped. We haven't had contact in 2 months now.
When I think about her now, I'm sad. She was my perfect girl. Perfect looks and personality. Sometimes I think I was wrong to cut her off. But...I was second fiddle. I think I did the right thing, but what do outsiders think?
Most Helpful Guy
Honestly I think you're crazy. You weren't "second fiddle"; you simply were not being dated, period. She wasn't meeting with you to smooze you into her lovetunnel at all. You were just someone she was able to connect with and perhaps she's lonely?
You did yourself a disservice though by completely cutting her off simply because the only person being punished is you. You get nothing out of it other than a false standard of importance which makes no sense because you took it out of perspective, projected your emotions onto her, and then rejected your own emotions.
I wish I could say it's new but it's not.0
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