How should I go about this? We have texted but I have initiated the texts

A girl is in my group for a group project in one of my classes. Even tho we are in the group we have not met up for anything since the semester just started. The other day when I came to class she looked at me and gave me a big smile. After class I was walking by my self and she came up to me and initiated the conversation. We talked for a bit and she suggested that we meet up before our next class which is the same day just about 4 hours later than the first class. I asked her for her number and she gave it to me. About 40 minutes before the class I texted her to see if she wanted to grab some food and she agreed. We had a good conversation and then we went to class. I am obviously attracted to her and I have a good feeling she's attracted to me as well. We have texted since the class but I have initiated the few times we texted. She always responds almost imediately and keeps the convo going although at times the texts have become dull. should I keep initiating the convo even tho that might sound desperate. I just got her number Tuesday. Any suggestions/commnets appreciated. Thanks


Most Helpful Guy

  • You're doing everything right, well done.

    My suggestion is to "transition" from school to social location. By simply changing venues you'll be escalating the intimacy. In school it's easy for her to write off your interactions as "platonic" but once you're hanging out in the Real World she'll be forced to face her feelings, and yours.

    Plan something small and simple like this: Find a cool new restaurant or coffee shop that you can either drive her to after class, or she can meet you at after class. Keep it mid week if you think that works for her schedule, or maybe a mid-Sunday event. Try to avoid busy times like Friday or Saturday nights. And not the night before an exam.

    Then during class, or when chatting after class you can bring it up, like, "Hey Susan! Listen, drop any plans you have after class tomorrow! There's this awesome new restaurant I've been dying to check out - come with me, my treat!"


    - Don't ask her "out" like it's Prom Night because that's weird. Just ask her to join you for dinner, and that you'll drive and pay. She'll understand it's a date, and even if she doesn't it doesn't matter. If she says, "Um, you mean like a date?" then you can either say, "Ya, it'll be fun!" or, "Well, just the two of us, if that's what you mean. I just thought it'd be fun."

    - It's okay if she says no. Most likely she'll suggest another time she's free. Even if she doesn't, you've started to lay the ground work. You can try again in another week after you dazzle her with your flirting and attraction skills... right? ;) What ever you do, don't pout.

    - The key is to do all the planning. Don't bother her with questions or suggestions. Women hate it when a guys says, "well... what do YOU want to do? Where do YOU want to go?" Just plan the little adventure, feel excited about it, then invite her like you would any other friend.

    - It's okay to OVER HYPE how awesome and fun it's going to be. Just getting free food with a friend is always awesome.

    - Even before all of this you should increasing the flirting and teasing. Always be slowly escalating the intimacy and trust, but also the emotions and feelings of fun.

    - Your goal is to kiss her, which is much easy after she's gotten used to how much the two of you touch. Like hugging, or tickle fights, or thumb wrestling, etc. Show her how you're a touchy fun guy and escalating to that first kiss will be much easier.

    - You can invite over text if you have to. It'll sound the exact same way.

    - Word your invite without a question. Like, "Join me for dinner!" and not "Will you join me for dinner?" For some reason it just works better.

    - It's okay to always being the initiator. You're the man and it's sometimes your job to take those risks... just stay calibrated. When she stops replying quickly then stop texting as much. Mirror her interest.

    Hope this helps?

    ~ Robby

    My Blog ( link )

    • thanks a lot for taking the time to write such a detailed response. I will take up your suggestions. thanks again

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  • Keep initiating conversations. You haven't known each other very long. You're doing fine.

  • she is obviously attracted to you also. some girls only like it when the guy initiates texts / conversations in general... but it doesn't really matter if you keep initiating if she responds well and keeps agreeing to hang out with you. just don't text her too much.

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