I'm hoping I did this right, but ladies, I want your thoughts

well I had a problem with jealousy in our relationship, I had trust issues, and it came from seeing my brothers get cheated on and all the stories I would hear. so I was acting over jealous and almost controlling in a way. any way I had one jealous act to many and hurt her too many times and she broke up with me...

after a few weeks of little to no contact and a lot of thinking and changing. I got my ex grilfriend to talk to me. I told her why I was jealous and I didn't want to lose her so I held on to tight and endded up pushing her away unknowingly. I told her that I do trust her and never had a reason not to. I told her that if we where to date again. I want to take things slow only seeing each other a few times a week. and this time she would have the control. because we both seen what I did with it. I promised her that I'm not that same guy anymore. (and I don't make promises I can't keep) she was almost crying but she was holding it back.

she said she don't know if she can because she's afraid things would go back. I told her you never know unless you try. and she said she don't know what she wants. she still has feeling for me and she don't know when she will be ready to even date again. I said would you at least think about it. she said yes I will (holding back tears) I was honest, sweet, and made a connection and made amends. everything she was mad at me about I changed.

i feel I made progress, she felt I was controlling and overly jealous. so I told her the ball is in her court and she would have control this time. and that I seen the error in my over jealiousy. I'm just asking I guess. if you felt the way she did and you still had feelings for a man still maybe even alittle love. how would this make you feel?.

anyone else? can I please get other ladies point of view? how would you feel?


Most Helpful Girl

  • It would make me feel truly conflicted because I wouldn't want it to end up the way it did again. If you've truly changed all you can do is show her by actions and hope she comes around. I do hope that you have changed and it works out. Relationships are all about balancing, giving and taking, to make both people happy.

    Its also important to openly and honestly communicate your feelings. I think it was good you explained that you know what was wrong. In the future (if this does go further) be sure to communicate your feelings instead of holding them back so you don't have bottled up resentment or negativity leading to more problems like lack of trust.

    • it won't like I said this time things will be different. she said I was controlling so I gave her the control this time. said I wanted go slow. I think this time she really listened and she's just afraid. we might go back or more like I might go back to how I was. so I asked her that when the time comes that your ready to start dating, before you do just think about my offer and what I said. she said she will. so I did all I can do, the ball is in her court. I just hope I made a good difference.

    • Show All
    • thanks for taking time to talk to me I know it's late. I'm just in love with this woman and it kills me to think I hurt her in anyway. I just really want her back.

    • No problem at all. You can always message me too if you need someone to talk to. I think a lot of people know that feeling when you've hurt someone you love. Whether it was intentional or not, its never a good feeling. I've had it a couple of times in my life.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Definitely Unsure. But like you said you'll never know if you don't try. It isn't uncommon for men to say they've changed...when in reality most don't, and feed us woman a bunch of bullsh*t. You'll just have to bide your time and hope she comes back to you.

  • I would feel the way she feels - extremely confused and conflicted.

    On one hand, I'd be glad to see him, I'd be glad to know he cares and grateful for his apologies and care. On the other hand, I'd think, "I've heard this kind of stuff before, and nothing changed. Will this be like THAT?"

    She's at a point now where she doesn't quite trust you, so you will have to work pretty hard to earn that trust back.

    If it were me, I'd tell him that we could be friends for a while and see where things go. I wouldn't jump right back into a relationship with him.


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