What do I do with resurfacing feelings for ex?

So 5 years ago in high school I dated this girl who had problems mentally (schizophrenia, multiple personalities). We dated for almost a year and I was in love with her but towards the end her parents started giving me sh*t because I was getting in trouble and got kicked out of ROTC for her (her mom was the worst of it threatening me with a restraining order). Should mention at the time I was 17 and she was 14. Until I just got tired of dealing with her mom I told my ex that I was done and to never talk to me again. 2 years go by and my best friends brother gets married and she's there, OK, no problem I was adult about it although her parents weren't. 3 more years my best friend gets married and she's there, I saw her and just couldn't stop and those feelings started flooding back. what do I do?


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  • You seem to be attracted to very complicated girls! It's not surprising that seeing her would release lots of powerful memories. It is interesting to me that you haven't been feeling this before now. So it may feel more significant than it really is.

    Now that she is of age, her parents are no longer in control of the situation, at least not legally. However that's only one barrier. You did leave her on less than ideal terms telling her never to talk to you on account of her parents. This could not have gone over well with her. Another concern is that she is probably not the same person at 19 that she was at 14. People change a great deal over those years and with her condition she probably changed more than most. So if you are attracted to her 14 year old self, that person might not exist anymore.

    You do have the option to contact her and see what happens. I would suggest being ready for anything if you do. All sorts of things could come of it including unpleasant things.

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