Should I text her again?

Me and this girl have been texting for a while. At first everything was going great and we even went on a date once and it was fantastic, but lately I feel like she has lost interest. I know that she has a lot of stress going on but still I can't help but feel like she is being very distant. We live in different towns so texting is pretty much the only way we have to keep in touch. I am always the one that text first, but I Haven't text her in over a week and she want said anything either. Normally I would just move on now, but I really like her and I know that she is very shy and has had some very bad experiences with boyfriends in the past, so I understand if she is a little wary on becoming closer with someone. So what would you girls and guys recommend me here? Should I give it another chance or just leave her alone for a while? Or forever?


Most Helpful Girl

  • When life is overwhelming, sometimes it's nice to hear from someone who cares for you without expectations. Her being shy, gun shy about relationships, and dealing with personal problems would understandably make her withdraw from relationships. She's probably tired of dealing with people, tired of over thinking every little thing (which can happen when you second guess your decisions because of past mistakes) and she's cocooned herself to deal with as little of life as possible.

    A simple well wishing, I'm-thinking-of you text without expecting a response could be a little light of sweetness. Make her feel like she deserves to be thought of, even as she has withdrawn, especially because she has withdrawn from people - that despite her closing herself off there is someone out there who feels that she will get past this difficult time and emerge fine, telling her that she's strong enough to overcome whatever her problems are and she's worth the wait, worth supporting even at her lowest moment.

    I think with that attitude toward people - that they are more than their problems, that someone can see past their current behavior and recognize their value - there would be more people who can overcome their problems and not succumb to depression or whatever people deal with when they lose sight of the big picture.

    Tell her you're thinking of her. Tell her she's worth waiting for even when she doesn't respond the way you think she should. Think about her feelings regardless of how she reacts to you and even if she doesn't give you anything in return, I do know that your concern and lack of expectations of her will shine in her memories for a long time. Maybe she won't appreciate it immediately she will in time. Moments of kindness have a way of persevering in our memories, giving people a little ray of sunshine in an otherwise bleak existence.

    Kindness goes a long way and there is nothing more kind than a word of support or sweetness just for the sake of it. I think you should keep talking to her because it's a nice thing to do for someone who has been hurt by others.

    Good luck.


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What Girls Said 2

  • Give her some time to get through her stressful time, she probably has loads on her mind, I wouldn't take it to personally. Text her in a week or so, ask how she is, how things are and that will hopefully become routine. Even if she see's you as nothing more than a good friend, it will be nice for her to know she's on your thoughts.As for the texting first issue, I think that's just a girl thing, most of my girl friends would never text a guy first out of the fear or looking to over keen or annoying. If you're that keen, don't give up until you know if you have a chance. Good luck!

  • Hahah woah, this sounds exactly like my story, but I am on the other side..the shy girl.

    I think you should text her...she probably never text you because she thinks she is bothering you, or is afraid of getting hurt. If she is like me, she's being cautious. I wouldn't be surprised if she was wondering why you haven't texted her.

    Just be straight up with her, and show her what kind of guy you are by your actions.

    Who ended the last text? And did it end well? Usually that can tell you where she stands.

    How'd you guys meet?

    I mean, she must've been interested if she gave you her number..

    I wish you luck with this girl, hopefully things turn out for the best. (:


What Guys Said 1

  • if she has a stressful life, give her some time and maybe just check up after a couple weeks to see how she's doing? Offer her some relaxation or way to get away from her stress?