Did I turn him off? What happened?


I met this guy about 2 months ago while we were waiting for the same bus. We hit it off real quick! We have the same taste in music, interests, we just had the chemistry. Our convo on the bus was long and personal, there was never any awkward silence. He asked for my number and I gave it to him, letting him know that I usually don't give guys my number, but since he seemed so cool, he was an exception. He texted me as soon as he got off the bus, and our texting convos went on for about 2 weeks- non-stop. Finally we ended up hanging out. I was super shy and nervous (my first date), but he let me know it was okay, he was there. We both took turns paying for different things. He said he was surprised because no one has ever paid for him, and made a joke at how I was "taking care" of him. We ended the day lying on the grass, cuddling, which was totally new to me, but felt right with him. That day he even bought me sleeping pills because of my sleeping problems I told him I was having, I felt like we were already a couple.

He continued to text me later that day, always initiating the convo first (I hate texting first because I'm afraid I'm being annoying). I don't know what the last text was, but he ended up not replying back until about 3-4 days after apologizing. He said him cell got shut off from not paying (fishy? excuses?)

We texted for about a week until he stopped replying altogether. The last text he sent was about how he wants to go back to college (I am in my 3rd year at the University), but hates the idea of homework. I told him it's not that hard, that he is smart enough and if he really wants to do it, he should give it a try, and that was the last text.

It's been about a little over a month now and I haven't heard or seen of him, which is strange because we ride the same bus. I'm so confused because he was the one who initiated everything. I was very cautious, while he was straight forward. He kept on talking about how he didn't know why I thought he was such a "cool guy," because he wasn't that great of a guy.

I realize that I really do like him. I've been wanting to text him, but I don't want to bother. Wouldn't he text me back if he really was interested? What do you think I did for him to become uninterested?

I'm so confused with everything he said, still left running in my head. What do you all think happened? And if I do run into him on the bus, how do you think I should go about it?

Sorry for the long story, I just really want someone's insight.

Thanks xx



Most Helpful Girl

  • I would go with honesty. Straight forward bare your soul honesty.

    I don't know if you're assertive enough to confront him by phone (calling instead of texting) but I don't see what you would lose by being honest about your confusion.

    Whatever the reason, I can tell you that it's not you. Maybe he's dealing with personal issues you're not privy to, maybe an ex girlfriend or current girlfriend made a reappearance in his life, maybe he moved, maybe he's a bit off - but please don't think you did or said anything that made him lose interest. I know how easy it is to blame yourself when answers don't fall from the sky, but unless you aren't being honest about your sanity, most people drift away for their own personal reasons.

    All in all, text him about your confusion. And if he doesn't answer know that he's the one with a problem not you. And if you were to see him again, it's up to you whether you want to approach him for answers or studiously ignore him because a man that can't be honest about his intentions isn't worth your attention. He really isn't.

    Best of luck.

    • (:

      Thanks or that, you're great at giving advice and it sure makes me think better about this whole situation. x

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • i think you should call him and just ask what happened why stopped responding all of a sudden since its been a month. This way you will have a clear answer and can move on


What Girls Said 1

  • Don't text him. For whatever reason he's lost interest. Yes you could've done something to turn him off, he could've gotten back together with an ex, he could've found someone else, etc.

    The why doesn't matter, You met a new person, had a good time and now you should move on.

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