The 17 Harsh Realities of Your Older Boyfriend: True or False? Fair or Foul?

This article in yahoo today caught my attention (it's a quick read)


Obviously this is opinion based but it is from Cosmo that is a reputable magazine. I thought it was a bit harsh but also contained some legit truths. I'm interested in your...

General Thoughts?

I was wondering do you agree or disagree?

Are there specific "truths" you take issue with?

Ones you agree with?

Does anyone have anyone personal stories that either support or contrast this articles's point?

Girls perspective, particularly if you've dated older men?

Men's perspective, particularly if you've dated younger women?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think that it really depends on how big the age gap is, and whether or not you're genuinely at different stages in life. A 30-year-old woman can plausibly have gone through a lot of the same things as a 50-year-old man (i.e. divorce, successes and failures in her career, children, etc.). A 20-year-old dating a 40-year-old is a whole other story, though. So while I agree that many of the points addressed in the article are valid, the context is a bit too vague. Not all age-gap relationships are dysfunctional; but they are a bit trickier.

    I'm 24 and have had several different experiences dating older men (although by "older," I mean less than 15 years older than me... Sometimes it worked, and sometimes it didn't. But I find that as I get older, I become more and more attracted to people closer to my age. I think that what it boils down to -- for me, at least -- is that I want to date a man, not a boy. The younger you are, the less likely it is for you to establish a genuine relationship with an older man, for many of the reasons discussed in the article. It's true that age is just a number, but there are many trends among people of certain age groups that cannot be ignored.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 8

  • I think the author sounds like a bitter older woman. The majority of men who date younger, do not date girls still in high school. I think if a woman is out of high school then dating an older man is not really an issue. That being said, the points in that article may be truths but I think they're just truths for girls still in high school dating way older. Personally, I don't think those points apply to the vast majority of younger woman-older men relationships, generally speaking of course.

    • Nonsense, my high school featured lines of older guys in cars picking up their high school girl friends at the school during lunch. Most of the more attractive girls were dating guys beyond high school age, and it hasn't changed much since then.

      All the girls parrot the same line about the woman just being bitter It's a way to hide from the truth..

      Hey, the truth is often bitte.r

    • Like I said in my answer, it probably is true about high school relationshipa but its certainly not true about the majority ofyounger woman-older men relationships AFTER high school which is what I said in my answer if you actually read it...

  • Well it reads like its aimed at 15-17 year olds dating 40-50 year old men and it makes the author sound like its a woman who's bitter at younger women.

    I am 7 years younger than my s.o and we're together for over 11 years. We met when I was 20 and he was 27 and I was the one that introduced him to Pink Floyd. Like I've always said it doesn't matter what age you are but where you are in life

  • I have never dated a much older man, the oldest age difference was 5 years, I was 20 he was 25. However I would like to say that what the article says the scenarios are likely. I have a friend who is 22 and her boyfriend is 35 and in a way they are very different, he has to change his plans to suit her, its like she has him twisted around her finger.

  • A lot of them seemed to assume that there are men in their 30s dating teenagers still in high school, which is not only illegal but also very rare.

    I think if you're in college, around 20, I don't think it's big of a deal if you date someone 10 years older and a lot of points won't be applicaple then.

    • Nothing illegal about it if the girl is 16 or older, in most states, and at my high school, there were lines ofolder guys in their cars picking up their high school girl friends when school got out.

      Most of the attractive girls were dating guys beyond high school age, and some of them were over 30. Not rare at all; maybe a little unusual, usually the guys were more like early-mid 20's, but some were that old.

  • i've been saying this for years to friends who lust after older men and guys my age who tease me for having a younger boyfriend. older man isn't better imo. just like avocados.

  • I think that's pretty solid. A couple years older is okay, but when you're at totally different places in life he's obviously not out for an emotional connection.

  • I think it's very accurate. Bitter sounding or not, she makes very valid points. Especially about the guy being a loser. Only guys who date much younger girls from my experience are the ones who can't get girls their own age.

  • My boyfriend is 19 years older than me and Most of those points don't really apply. I'm a Junior in college but we met when I was a freshman. There are people who think its weird, but most of my friends have accepted that what we have is genuine.

    He's not at all creepy or running from anything. We just knew early on that it would last. That article is full of bitter stereotypes that are true in some cases, but not all.

    • interesting. I'm glad to hear your perspective. how long have you two been together?

    • Two years in 3 months, and I don't see it ending anytime soon. He's a very good man. We have the same values and always respect each other. He's very patient and supportive of me with my studies, and has never once given me reason to think he was with me for anything other than genuine love. I don't care what others think about it...I'm so happy I found him.

    • i think the article takes the stance of total opposition to prove a point. but even if her article was a rule there are alwas exceptions and it sounds like your relationship is one of those exceptions...

What Guys Said 7

  • When you're a teenager, you can date someone your age, 5 years older, 20 years older.

    In all those cases its probably going nowhere.

    To be honest, I probably see relationships with a late teenager more likely being serious with an older partner then one their own age.

    The one I find amusing and that I only ever hear women claim is that older guys are dating younger women because women their own age won't date them.

    This is laughable for the most part. Younger women are in higher demand, its easier to date women your own age then younger ones at least once you're beyond 23 or so. It may be true that its easier for 18-19 year old guys to date a 16 year old then a girl their own age.

  • Saying any of those things in the article to the younger girls who ask for validation here on Gag so often, will only get you called names, and a bunch of go-for-it-girl comments from the boss-sleeping feminists on the site.

    But you're right, it's an uncommonly honest treatment of the subject of younger girls with older guys.

    Sigh. But the ones who need to read it, won't.!

    Nothing harsh in it at all! If anything, it is too softly phrased.

    • i agree that some of it are realities, but I also think that there is an amount of bitterness (like a woman who feels like younger girls are stealing their potential men)... but overall I think there is a general truth to the article

    • Show All
    • tokioangel95 seems to recognize that there is some truth in the article.

    • OK, right, she kinda sorta admits it...Actually, aside from you, not one of the GUYS who answered does anything but dismiss the author as 'bitter', either, without trying to argue with her..

      Since they couldn't argue her points without admitting they're generally true!

  • Older women have always been pissed off that guys can date younger. The author of this article sounds bitter as hell.

    • I didn't read the link yet but why would she bitter? I am an older woman with not one but two much younger guys chasing me - it goes both ways. Men can date younger, women can date younger, too. It just happens that I am more drawn to the guy closer to me age, but the offers from younger men are there.

  • First point is hilarious rather than disturbing. The rest get progressively more nausea-inducing. I had to stop at four.

  • written by a bitter woman past her expiration date that's lashing out at the world

    Thaaat's ALL, FOLKS

  • This article is ridiculous. Tons of older guys and younger girl relationships work. In a lot of ways they work better than the two people being the same age. She is a bitter old hag angry at the competition

    • no truth at all? I agree that the writer seems bitter. but I do think there is some merit

  • LMAO, that article was just written by a old woman bitter at how the guys she wants to date are dating younger, hotter, tighter women.

    And reason 3#? "Biggest reason he likes you is you're young?" That's WHY non-loser men date women, because they find them attractive and want to sleep with them.

    Guys who are 30 and up know that guys who can date younger women, do. Just like how if you're rich enough to drive a camaro, you usually do.

    Younger women are more attractive, less bitter with less baggage like older women, more likely to actually respect the man, and if the guy wants kids--a 24 year old can have babies way easier than a 35, 40 year old. And let's face it. If a 30-40 year old guy can get a 25 year old woman, why wouldn't he?

    "Nah, give me an older woman who's losing her looks, bitter at being single, probably has slept with 15 guys. Who likes younger girls who have a lower partner number, are slimmer, hotter, tighter, and will like me a lot more?"