Should I read this as "he's just not that into me"?

I went on two great dates with this guy, and we had been texting every single day all day (literally) between the dates too. He seemed VERY into me, making plans for the weekend of November first and even into December which was weird but nice at the same time.

after our second date, the next morning I woke up to his usual cheery "good morning" text then later in the day I got a text that basically said he thought he was ready to date but it turned out that he wasn't and he hoped I would understand.

what I understood was that he admitted on our second date that his ex of 3 years (who he had been broken up with for 3 months with and said he didn't believe in getting back together) showed up unexpectedly at his door the very night before begging to get back together with him and throwing herself at him sexually as a strategy to get back into a relationship after she heard he was dating me. (he claims he sent her away and didn't give in to her sexual advances).

i was thrown off guard by his sudden change of heart, because as I said HE had already bought and planned a trip to a winery with me among other dates for the coming weekends. and HE had also made it VERY clear to me that he had no feelings for her at all and had NO intention of ever getting back together with her (he dumped her).

he didn't delete me on Facebook, but I decided to delete him because I didn't want to see anything that would hurt me because I thought this guy was pretty great. I wrote him a Facebook message that pretty much said "hey I know this is a silly message to write but I wanted to let you know I didn't delete you out of spite or anger but because I don't want to see anything that could be hurtful and you have my number if you ever want to talk"

i thought that was polite, sweet, let him know I liked him, and left the door open just in case he was just temporarily confused emotionally after his ex showed up.

when he replied to my Facebook message I was surprised: he basically said he would never think that I would delete him out of anger, and that I had his number if I needed anything too.

my friends keep saying that he's going to call me, but I don't see how a guy could go from "im not ready to date" to "ok I'm ready now" to a girl.

guys, is his Facebook message that says "you have my number too if you need anything" just a polite way of saying "im just not that into you"? (because that's how I'm reading it)


Most Helpful Girl

  • its obvious like I told you in the previous post,he is probably seeing his ex again


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What Guys Said 2

  • Yeah, I have to kind of agree with your interpretation of his FB message. I would never use the phrase, "if you need anything", unless my romantic interest in a girl was slipping away.

    I'm not saying you acted needy or too excited, but did you? Regardless, your meeting him at this point is bad timing since he's still not quite over his "ex". I would not be too harsh on him because it can be hard when you think you're over your ex but then you see them and feel those same emotions all over again. I know this sucks but it sounds like you guys had a nice thing starting. My advice is to let him contact you if he chooses while seeing what other men are available.

  • you just might be right


What Girls Said 1

  • I think for now it is too early for him to be liking another girl which is why he is holding off on the romance until he feels he is ready for it.

    It might mean he's not into you but I think you should check back with him again in a couple of months, but keep in contact with him (like a friend would and not a flirty friend). If he's not into you now, he might be later but at the very least he wants to be friends.