Assistance from black girls please, in telling my mother about it?

I'm originally from the U.S., but grew up in Paris. My mother's a Tunis native, and most of her family is in Paris. She's Arab Muslim. My father's P.R. We moved back to the States this spring, and I'm in college, but living with them still. My mother, because of her beliefs, is very conservative. Although she's never said it in these words, she wants me to date girls like her. Arab, Muslim, conservative, etc. Well I see a LOT of Black(U.S.) girls here where I am, and many of them are what you'd call "thick?" And a lot of them wear these black yoga pants. Black girls here are CUTE! They look very good like this. There's been several times where I've just tried to be disciplined and ignore looking, but I can't. I've turned around, looked at them go by, and my mouth literally drops, I'm shocked. Black girls here in the U.S. like this...they're just too good, and I want to date 1. I am going to date 1. And I know I'll treat her with the utmost respect that they deserve to be treated with. It's how I was raised. I know my mother wouldn't approve, because it's more socially open here. But the Black girls here are too cute, and I know this is what I want. But how do I go about telling her so she'll understand, help me out with this ladies, please!


Most Helpful Girl

  • Im a black girl and I work in a lebanese/Mediterranean restaurant. I've definitely been hit on by Muslim guys. They seem pretty much okay. I guess they aren't really religious if they're doing that but their families were! Haha

    Also, there are black Muslim girls. Maybe she wants you to be interested in Caucasian Muslim women?

    Good luck! I don't think you can make her understand. No one can really tell you what to do. You know her best.


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What Girls Said 4

  • Being that your mother is Arab (Indian) and your father is P.R (Black,white,Indian mix). I expect your Mother to be way open in you dating any culture. Especially with the fact that you have black ancestry in your DNA and your routes.

    Although you respect your Mother's opinion ,

    It is your LIFE and you need to live for yourself.

    There is more to a person than their religion and their racial background.

    Just because someones beliefs are different doesn't mean that they are less.

    This is your Mother's thinking.

    When you get a girlfriend and you see that the relationship will last then you

    tell your Mother.

    Do not expect her to see eye to eye with you because chances are she won't.

    When you tell her about your relationship, stand firmly behind your decision to

    stay with the girl you love.

    You're not looking for acceptance but you're looking to be

    open and honest with yourself, love ones, and live your life.

    When you come out with your relationship, you

    have to be strong behind your decision.

  • ANY mother wants her son to marry a "girl like her". It is like, extra validation, not in a selfish or weird way, but it is. I'd say, find a Muslim black girl who is really nice and has a good grip on Arab culture and can assimilate and then go from there. She is Muslim so remind her that she married someone who is not from her culture! I don't know if he is Muslim or not but that's a good point too. Also, remind her that Islam says that if a woman's deen is good, then that's it! Also remind her of the Prophet Muhammad SAWS last khutba about how Arab is not better than non Arab and white is not better than black. She would probably feel something about the girl anyway, just because arab mama's like their daughter-in-law to be curvy, virgins, with long hair, and white skin, a good cook, and quiet like a mouse. So..there you go.

  • Don't date a black girl if your circumstances call for you to have to announce it to your parents. There's no reason to put yourself in that position

  • You're half arab and half puerto rican? :) that's a hot mix. I would date you

    You just need to keep it real with her and tell her how you honestly feel. You're a grown man so you don't really need her approval. her opinion like it or hate it can't help how you feel. Besides she married outside of her race/culture so she can't really say much if you do


What Guys Said 2

  • You know, there are black Muslims, right?

    • 98% of Tunisia are Arab Muslims. 98% of Black Americans are not. And what's socially acceptable in public here in the U.S. would get people in MAJOR trouble there. It's NOTHING remotely similar.

    • Then look the 2%. They have to be in the Mosques. I knew some black Muslims who were from Africa (duh, that's where Tunisia is. LOL).

      Also, why are you guys so strict about certain things? I'd like to know for my own understanding.

  • It's your life. You can do what you want to do.

    • Apparently not

      He wants his families acknowledgment and approval

    • Show All
    • It's typically more complicated than that. People who brush it off like that typically have no idea what they're talking about because it takes experience

      And he said his mom is Tunisian, so close enough...

    • His mom doesn't run his life. And he has to decide for himself . And from what he said I think she's more concerned about him marrying a Muslim woman than anything else .

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