Is this a rebound or could it work?

My ex and I were together for 81/2 years and we have been split up for a little over 3 months. He is the one who left the relationship. We work at the same job and have for the past 6 years. We see each other daily and at the beginning of the break up stayed in contact (it was usually me doing the contacting) but over the past month or so he has cut off contact with me other than discussing finances that we still share. Well recently both of us started seeing other people who also work with us. The girl he is seeing is works under him and has for the past year. The guy I am seeing also works under him but is fairly new on the job. Many times during our relationship he has said how trashy and gross she is and he has even gone as far as saying that her kids are dirty looking, but now he is dating her. He said many times in the past that he would never date a girl with kids and now he is and it is confusing to me. She has a lot of issues that I know he is not ready to deal with and when asked why he chose to date her his answer is "other than (my name) I've always dated trash so I guess that is what I'm use to" He' s 6 years older than her and he has no children of his own and doesn't want any so I just don't get it. She is a party girl and he is a mellow stay at home and watch tv kind of guy so their lifestyles do not mesh at all. She is the complete opposite of me. I am just curious how this is going to play out.

As for me the guy I am seeing works under my ex and is a great guy and I totally enjoy spending time with him. He is completely opposite of my ex. My ex allows him to take breaks with me and I actually spend time with him at his work area with my ex being around the same area. I know I really enjoy his company and we have a great time hanging out but I still think about my ex.

While at work I see my ex and his new sleaze taking breaks together even though they just sit there and rarely speak and act all discrete I know they are on break together and it drives me absolutely crazy. My ex however sees me and the guy I am seeing on break and we sit and laugh and seclude ourselves from the rest of the break area but this seems to have no effect on him. Not that I am trying to get a reaction out of him I just don't understand after almost 9 years together and only 3 apart how he deals with it when I can't seem to.

Any way I have rambled on and basically I just want an opinion on whether or not these sound like rebounds and what may end up happening for the both of us.


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  • Yes these sound like rebounds on both your accounts. You clearly have not moved on from this ex. He may or may not have moved on. Chances are he is good at hiding his feelings or he really is over you. I was over my ex after 6 years. He could not understand why I was until I explained to him that the last year we were together were spent with me realizing how big of an ass he was and that is why it didn't faze me that we weren't together. I don't know what the dynamics are of the relationship you once had but I can say this, he does not think highly of you. For any guy to say, "I am used to dating trash" means that he is not fond of you. I think that it's time you move on completely and stop hoping you'll get back together with this guy. No offence but it's pretty lame on his part to bad mouth a girl one minute and the next start dating her.

    • He made it clear that other than ME all he has dated was trash so he didn't mean that towards me, but you are right he still doesn't think highly of me. Thanks for the advice it is much appreciated.

    • Even after he said that the way he acts is not very nice. It's not very courteous to be talking about someone in a negative way and then date them later on but claim they are trash. This guy sucks.