Is it right to continue dating?

I met a woman recently who has a lot of good things going for her: she is attractive, intelligent, athletic, and has a good heart.

There is just one issue: her age. She is slightly older than me. I just turned 39 (I can't seem to edit the age on the profile here) and she will be 41 in December.

I wish I could be married by now, but there always seems to be one issue or another with each women I date. The last was a morning person while I was a night person. She and I did not have the same taste in movies or music. Finally, I am enjoy physical fitness while she was sedentary. Now, I am concerned that if I want children, it will be a problem with this current lady.

This is one reason I have not gone all the way with her, even though I know I probably could.

We are both adults and can continue dating for fun, but I am not sure this is the righ thing to do unless I explicitly tell her about my concerns and she is OK with it (she suspects I prefer someone younger).

Or is it best to break things off now before things more complicated and there is more of an emotional investment?

Would women prefer if a man told you the truth of why he didn't want to be with you even if it hurt?



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What Girls Said 1

  • She's a woman. She should know better than to date a man who could do better (younger/hotter). Dumb move of her for getting involved in the first place.

    • Thanks for that brutally honest comment. She is an adult, has been in the military, and has also turned down guys who have chased her (typically, from what I know, she turned down older guys, so maybe she likes younger guys). Nevetheless, I feel some responsibility. Maybe I should tell her straight: "I will date you if you want to have fun and hang out, but I am concerned that your age may prevent me from taking this to a serious level."


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    • Yes, I think women in their 20s, even their late 20s are probably a bit out of my reach. And I have a full head of hair and keep in shape and eat well, but a woman 10 years my junior is a stretch for me. Yet, women older than me flirt with me all the time. My last ex was in fact 5 years younger than me..perfect age. Not too old, not immature and still able to have kids. Unfortunately, there wer incompatibilities. If I was certain that I did not want kids, the current woman would be perfect.

    • You'll just have to risk finding someone who may have slightly different qualities, but is in her thirties, I think. But killing more time will only make younger women even younger. I think you can break it off in a civil way and you'll both walk away a bit sad, but OK.

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