Why are women so confusing sometimes?

Ok so I've been sort of seeing this very nice woman. We really hit it of and stuff happened. But she's got a boyfriend but I told her look I know stuff like this is hard so I didn't want to pressure her and told her to take things easy and I like her company she obviously liked my company. Well everything was going great we were really growing together but we kept stuff PG13 because of her situation. But unfortunately not always since it was hard not to give into temptation.

Anyway after things were going great she started becoming all affectionate and telling me she missis me and stuff. So after a while I told her the same stuff that I was feeling and for a while it was OK. But then a few days ago she got weird not replying to texts anymore and stuff like that. So I asked her what the hell her problem was. That she got me to trust her and let my guard down now she's screwing with me and she told me that she didn't want to hurt me but she loves her boyfriend and actually doesn't love me or anything. And yes she missed my company but didn't care that I missed her or something. So I said fine and told her I was sorry to have let my guard down and it wouldn't happen again. The same day she starts texting where I am and how I am. Stuff like sending me songs on FB. She even called me asking me if I was OK. Then we see each other and she starts telling me she missed me and then texting me she missed me and that I smelled great and she really loved being near me. Then evening she texted me good night and the sent me something funny on FB in the morning and text after text. Then she said she can't wait to see me today. I was all fine with it but didn't show too much emotion and she texted me that I'm weird I'm like night and day. Before all affectionate and now nothing.

Now what I don't get is why does she care. She made it clear she doesn't want my affection so I'll not be giving it to her and don't want her affection. Why does it matter she's happy with how things are and nothing else matters.

I don't get it I know that when I decide on something I know it was my decision to be made and I'll stick to it and won't blame anybody for my decisions.


Most Helpful Girl

  • shes an attention seeker

    she doesn't care about you, she's not getting enough attention from her boyfriend so she's cheating on him with you without having to leave him completely because she has feelings for him and not you. you do realize she will cheat on you if you date her too right?

    the only reason she said that stuff about missing you is because you got upset and told her youd withdraw and she panicked thinking she just lost her booty call and ego massager so she just did some damage control to ensure you're still going to be around to pander to her whenever she wants it.

    as to her getting weird and not replying to you for a few days - it may have been because she was busy or worried her boyfriend would find out or she was just bored of talking to you but didn't want to cut ties completely and you went all clingy asking her what the hell she was doing by ignoring you and from the sounds of it you want a relationship with her which she doesn't want, she wants things to stay the same so she can have her boyfriend and her bit on the side who gives her attention.


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What Girls Said 4

  • Same reason guys are confusing. We're all human and we can't just be one certain way. HOWEVER...

    A red flag should've gone up,however, when you met a girl that was willing to "see" someone else when she had a boyfriend.

    Move on, she doesn't have respect for anyone- not even herself. She's not a woman, she's a little girl playing games. If she can't be loyal to one man, how are you going to feel when she's doing the same to you?

    Bottom line: she's a little crazy, no regard for anyone's feelings but her own, sees men as toys and something fun to mess around with. You just have to ask yourself if you wanna have a couple of weeks of good times and possibly "letting your guard down" again only to get trampled over by her . I hate saying this, but- once a cheater always a cheater. I say move on, find a girl who is going to respect you and your feelings. And respect you for trusting her, visa versa.

  • Drop her like a hot potato my friend, she is not worth it. Ever heard of the use-abuse-refuse cycle? That's what she is doing. Better to let her go in my opinion

  • If she cheated on him, what makes you think she won't cheat on you if you two were in a serious relationship. It's kind of like a cycle.

  • The only women I know who date other guys when they have a boyfriend are bad news.


What Guys Said 3

  • This is what your story sounds like in my head:

    "I played with a porcupine, why did I get stabbed by spine needles? It makes no sense?"

    She had a boyfriend, and she went behind his back and got with you. This didn't seem like some indication that she may not be the most emotionally stable person? You thought you would magically be some exception?

    Wake up.

  • A lot of girls want things both ways..she wants you available to her, with affection and coo-cooing, whenever she wants. But she also wants you to leave immediately if she needs to be with her boyfriend, and not to expect affection from her.

    Usually girls keep a 'gay' friend for this sort of thing. It's unusual to try to keep a straight guy on the string like this.

  • attention-whore, can you not see it? now what to do:

    1) don't apologize to her

    2) don't agree that you miss her

    3) start mentioning other girls in front of her.

    (a) if she acts weirdo and confuses you to break-up, forget her. (b) if she stays friendly and reduces flirting, she's nice and keep her as a friend :)