She will go out with me but will not date me?

This girl Kimberly is my best friend of several years & she works next door so that is how I first meet her. I started to fall for her about 6-7 months ago & she was still 17 at the time. I felt bad because I was falling for a 17 year old girl. I stopped spending so much time around her & stopped talking to her thinking that my feelings for her would go away. Well they didn't!

When she got closer to turning 18 she spent more time around me, texting me & calling me more. She needed my help more & more with different things. It's like I started falling for her again & harder this time. I still felt weird about having feelings for her cause I am in my early 20's & she was 17 for a few more weeks. My friends & her friends finally talked me into asking her out a few weeks after she turned 18. Long story short she said No & she didn't tell me why or her friends why for a few weeks. Turned out that she didn't want to loose me as a friend if a relationship didn't work out. I thought this was great...well it meant she did have feelings for me! We just remained friends.

I went to her graduation Sunday & she was so excited that I came and wanted me to sit with her mom. It was like she wanted her mom's approval of me or something. Her mom has also known me too for years cause she works next door too. Her mom knows I wouldn't do anything with her little angel. I didn't think her mom knew that we had feelings for each other, but I found out at her graduation that she knew and has known for a while even before Kimberly turned 18. Her mom still likes me so that is a good sign and means that she does truly trust me and my intentions that I have for her daughter.

Anyways...enough background on Kimberly and me.

Monday we was talking about her having to get up early for something when she changed the subject and asked me when was I going to take her to the movies. I thought this was her way of saying she is ready to date me and I was the happiest guy ever. She told me she was available all day Thursday, today, and that we could do whatever I wanted to and that we would have the entire day to ourselves.

She told me that we was just going out as friends. I didn’t know what to think…I was heart broken though cause I got so excited when I thought she had basically asked me out. Most of my friends pointed out that if she didn’t have some intentions of going further than friends then she wouldn’t have offered to spend the entire day with me & do whatever I wanted to do.

We both have mutual female friends so I talked to her semi-best friend Jennifer to see if Kimberly said anything about me because she told me we was going out just as friends. Jennifer told me that Kimberly had talked to her about me. Jennifer said Kimberly does like me and talks a lot about me and everything she says about me is good...she said Kimberly "Thinks the world of me", but Kimberly wasn't sure if she wanted to date me or not.

Jennifer suggested that Kimberly just go out with me as friends a few time to see if that would help make her mind up. I then started thinking that is probably what Kimberly is doing...just going out as friends a few times to see if she would like to date
My question is have you ever heard of a girl going out with a guy just as friends like this just to see if they might like him and want to date him? Also would a girl offer the entire day with you if she didn't really like you?
BTW: Kimberly is constantly telling me how I'm her best friend in the world! Is that good or bad?


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What Girls Said 1

  • well she does like you! but understand girls see guys differently then guys see girls.. what I would do is at the movies just go for it.. and tell her I am so sorry I had to... kiss her! seems like she's waiting for you to do something..

    • Just a few days after she turned 18 she gave me the chance to kiss her. She sent all the right signals, but I froze. I have never froze on a girl before, but I did. It made for a awkward few minutes..I could tell she was hurt that night cause I didn't kiss her. Here is the link to a post I made here if you want:

    • Show All
    • Said we are going out just as friends? I already knew that by me making a move on her it would either make her want me more or drive her off. I talked myself into playing the odds cause I want her so bad, but that was before she told me about friends only date. I took her saying friends only date as her way of saying “ Hey man don’t try anything and don’t make any moves on me tonight”, but in hindsight I don’t think that is what she meant.

    • She had a death in the family, not immediate family thou, Thursday so out date got canceled. She said she wants to get together Sunday after work and do something. I guess that is another sign she interested because that is her next day off after the funeral and everything.

What Guys Said 1

  • You have a chance, but small one. You need to walk away from her for a while, ideally with another girl on your arm.

    She knows for certain that she can leave you hanging. She doesn't have to work for your attention. You're not a challenge. You're easy. Why not save her energy and attention for a guy who'll actually require it? She can have you anytime.

    Instead, be the challenge. She needs to retreat in priority a few notches, behind the rest of your life and that new girl you're about to start dating.

    The reason your odds suck is that she's going call your bluff by seeking you out for advice, dates, assistance and generally forcing the relationship back into it's old rut. At that point, you need to call her bluff with liberal use of the words, "not now", "I'm busy", and "no".

    One of two things will happen: you'll light a fire under her ass, or she'll disappear. And once she's gone, she's gone; don't even think about chasing her.

    If that too big a gamble, give up, stay friended, and remember the lesson: nice guys still finish last.