First off, I'm not into online dating websites, I prefer meeting girls in real life. But I have a profile up for whenever I'm bored. Once in a while I get an email and usually the girl says something quick like "Hey there :)" And it really confuses me because I read so many female profiles that tell guys we have to say more than just hi. And I've read advice columns that say guys need to write an interesting email if they ever want a response. So why do so many girls send one or two-word emails and expect me to write back? Sometimes I'll write back "hi" as a joke because I'm not going to put any more effort into it than they did. Just seems like a double-standard to me.
Most Helpful Girl
Women get way more messages than men on these dating sites. So if a guy really wants to make himself stand out among all the "hey"s and "hi"s and "hey beautiful"s, he has to write something else that showed he's really interested in her and is not just copy-pasting the same 2 words to 1500 girls.
Men, on the other hand, don't get as many messages from girls, so a lot of men would put up by a simple "hey there", because a message from a girl is better than no message, right? And you did reply to her, which proved my point, eventhough you gave no effort in your reply, but you DID reply. I wouldn't even reply to a guy who just said "hi there", unless (!) I find him really attractive, then I would reply, but also give as little effort as you did, to test whether or not he's actually capable of a decent conversation or whether he is a dumb guy looking for hookups (tons of those on the internet)
Seems like a double standard, but it's how it is with online dating. Some websites even are free for women, but men have to pay. The number of men is just way higher than women, so many women believe that a simple "hey there" is enough to show the guy that she is interested. I don't do that by the way, I always look at the profile first, and point out some things we have in common. I almost never write to a guy first, but if I do, I send a message with 3 or 4 sentences.0