How the hell is a guy suppose to get a Girlfriend when women are saying they wouldn't give him a chance if..

she doesn't know him? Here just read most of the girls in this question: link

No sh*t of course they don't know each other that's why the guy is asking her out to get to know her. This is what I don't understand women complain guys don't hit on them? Its not like she has a sign on her back that reads I, will only date guys I know? In order to get to know someone you have to give them a chance.


Most Helpful Girl

  • How the hell is a guy suppose to get a girlfriend when women are saying they wouldn't give him a chance if she doesn't know him?

    By getting to know gals from expanding his social circle/environment thereby getting to know more gals as people not potential f*cks and talking to gals without the goal being to f*ck them and then asking out the friends/family/acquaintances of gals he knows from his social circle.

    This is what I don't understand women complain guys don't hit on them?

    Egh I'm not seeing how you don't understand that those gals are most likely complaining because they do want a guy to hit on them.

    Its not like she has a sign on her back that reads I, will only date guys I know?

    She doesn't however it's quite a reasonable to think she likely only dates guys she knows at least in my country, America, where any guy could easily be a rapist and/or murderer and if she survives it's doubtful she'll get justice and instead will be shamed and blamed for what he did to her.

    "In order to get to know someone you have to give them a chance."

    Not in my experiences/observations as I'm going on 'give them a chance' being indulging someone that I don't find appealing or desirable hence why the chance is given. I only get to know those I want.


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What Girls Said 6

  • Yeah I agree that sometimes women don't get their part of the bargain. Its important for women to know who they are. limitations, needs, what type of relationship they seek to help choose their partners. This will help them understand what emotions they are feeling and ultimately understand that when they have feelings for a guy ..what to do with it. By sending signals that he is the guy she likes. But no!, a lot of women, even myself at times, will have interest in one guy but treat that guy the same like any guy that approaches us. How would any guy determine what is and isnt?

    My rule of thumb is to keep certain actions for the man of interest

    1. smile and maintain contact (show that I am approachable and want him to take the next step)

    2. take initative when appropriate (e.g. text first here and there. No hangs up about that)

    3. Take more of a interest in understanding him. being inquisitive..asking questions with depth

    (guys who are just friends or whatever...will just get the baseline questions "how are you?" "how was your weekend?" I will never extend an invitation to my personal life.)

    4. reach out for the hug first sometimes.

    5. give a confessional

    6. Offer date ideas.

    A lot of women don't seem to realize they are equal in judgement. The man will judge whether or not she'll be someone he'll invest his time and emotions towards. The only way that can happen is to share themselves regardless of intent.

    And if a guy doesn't accept it oh well I'll move on. I can't control who will fall for me. And most women think any guy will fall for them. which is just not the case. A lot of women think confidence is : ignoring the guy, playing hard to get, have these set rules when to text and call. Its quite stifling and suffocating. how can we get to know each other? but really all that is insecurity. A confident person doesn't confuse "i like this person " with desparation. "i wanna see him" with "im too clingy" .."Should I ask him out" , NOPE "I'll be too avaliable and MEN LOVE THE CHASE (generalization and stupid rules). It makes things so confusing..being direct is the best way to go for both genders. ANd if it doesn't click oh well, there will be more. WHy waste the time barking up the wrong tree.

    All I see with both genders: a inability to let go and just be. And in that natural process find someone worthy. A lot of rules that do no one any good but suffocate the process..the beautiful process of learning about others and hopefully a good compatible mate.

  • Lets get this straight: Your message is for those women IN PARTICULAR. Not a public service announcement for any human being with a vaggie.

    I don't know what's up with those girls, but you shouldn't get your panties in a wad because at the end of the day, they are only restricting themselves. Maybe they were raped in the past and they're highly paranoid or perhaps they don't have the confidence to put themsevlves out there for a guy they're not familiar with. Whatever it is, it's their personal issue that they need to resolve. Don't take it so personally, like they sh*tted on your life with those answers lol

    • they didn't 'sh*t on my life' but that's still quite a lot of girls saying they wouldn't go out with a guy when he asks them out on first meeting. Are you saying this is not common?

    • Show All
    • im not... I just answered you.

    • oh okay, well I've never met any female who came out and said that. Females who do that probably just don't want to leave their comfort zone.

  • Personally..

    I prefer to meet guys through friends... or work...

    I meet you in a party setting, or in a work setting... get to know you a bit.. and see where the feels take me...

  • Thats because3 it is dangerous to just go out with someone you barely know. But if the guy approach the, for numbers then they might open up. Have to take it slow.

  • That's not what they're saying. They're telling you to ask for their numbers or FBs instead, in order to get to know you. That's a chance. They just don't feel comfortable going for a date right off the bat. Personally I don't have a problem doing that though.

  • Many girls are taught to be cautious with guys they don't know. We live in a world where a friendly looking stranger could easily be a rapist or murderer.

    • Well then what do you suggest a guy do to find a date?

    • Show All
    • for her number instead and talk to her first and get to know her before you ask her out so she feels more comfortable.

    • what if I don't really have many friends?

What Guys Said 3

  • The most popular answer was 'decent chance'. At this point only 20% say no chance, 80% there's at least some chance.

    There was a guy I knew in high school who used to hit on girls, when he was single, using the pickup line 'I have an 8 inch tongue and breathe through my ears'. Reasonably attractive girls only.

    I'd guess he had about a 3% success rate. He'd hit on 10-15 girls a night just like walking to a bar or whatever with this. So he'd be single for about 3 days, and all his girlfriends were nymphos.

    Cold approaches take so little time even if the success rate per attempt is low, the success rate per evening is high.

  • Networking is really a great way to meet women. Make lots of friends, etc. Great way to meet people, through friends, siblings, all that.

  • Most women don't go on this website. GAG is hardly representative of everyone, and that question isn't even entirely representative of GAG. A lot of the people here have relationship problems anyway, hence why they come on here.

    You can meet someone in public and have short chats with them every time you see them. If things seem to click then it'll build from there. Short spurts of interaction with "feeling out" periods is what seems to work, not a cold yet upfront demand to spend a few hours with a stranger. Most of the time when someone is on a date it's arranged through a friend or website where the two people have at least some information on the person.

    If you were asked by a female stranger to hang out with them for a couple hours, I'm betting you'd be a little suspicious. Women are far more vulnerable and understandably they'd be way more cautious.

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