Is my date doomed to fail?

I met a girl on a dating site, and we've made plans to go on a first date this coming Tuesday night. In order to get a better idea of what to prepare for, I Googled her. Based on what I found, along with her answers to some of the questions on the dating site and topics we discussed, I feel somewhat intimidated and emasculated by her. The following are some reasons why:

1: I'm 23 and she's 22. However, I've only been out of college for a few months and she graduated two years before me.

2. The longest romantic relationship I've ever had was three and a half months. She's been in longer ones. I can therefore conclude that she has a lot of sexual experience, while I have very little.

3. She has been working for money as a babysitter since she was sixteen. While I have held many jobs since I was fourteen, I didn't hold a paid position until I was eighteen going on nineteen and didn't hold another one until I was twenty one.

4. In college, she majored in psychology with a focus on neuroscience. She has a lot of expertise babysitting children with ADHD, Autistic Spectrum Disorders, and learning disabilities. I have been formally diagnosed with ADHD and have been self-diagnosed with borderline Asperger Syndrome.

5. She went to an elite private school for high school. I went to a faceless special education charter school for high school.

6. She, along with two friends, has her own apartment. I'm living with my parents until I can afford to move out (I've already admitted this to her, but she doesn't seem to mind.)

Based on these points, will she think I'm a "loser" or is the date worth giving a try?


Most Helpful Guy

  • 1. shouldn't be an issue at all

    2. fair enough, but I'm sure women would prefer where you're at (some experience without any partners)

    3. as long as you're working now, at least even part-time, it should be fine

    4. from someone who has been officially ASD diagnosed, I'll say it's good that you're in tune with issues that are important to her but try not to make the date too like a lecture or a therapy session. keep it mostly light, with some chunks of serious when appropriate.

    5. doesn't matter. I went to a charter sped school as well and no girl I met took issue to it. like taco bell vs a gourmet restaurant, it's all the same sh*t in the end anyway.

    6. if she doesn't mind, then you're golden. if she does reject you, it might be for other reasons.

    7. stop googling her and don't make her the main event of your life (at least till you been seeing her for a while). don't let her consume your every waking thought. make sure you have lots of hobbies and activities to keep you busy, and see her as someone to talk to on the side (at least until you've been seeing her for a while).

    • Thanks for the input. I'll take your advice to heart. By the way, I love your profile pic. Bob Saget?

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What Guys Said 2

  • As long as your penis is substantially larger then her clit, you're the man. Don't feel emasculated.

    Gold diggers care what you can spend on them. Most women care about your potential, not because they want your money, but because they are attracted to men who have good potential. This is nature telling them they might produce kids with potential. This is why women are not lying when they say they don't mind if a guy is living at home for now but has plans to move out, if he's in school and not earning much today, etc ... and on the same hand seem to care about money. You just graduated. Nothing to be embarrassed about.

    She has more sexual experience then you at being a girl. I bet she's a better girl then you. Luckily she's not a lesbian. You have infinitely more experience then her at being a man.

    Just relax. Be yourself, be confident in yourself. She will like you or not. Be a decent guy, and worry about whether you like her. She can worry about whether she likes you.

  • Are you planning to have sex with her on the first date? Compare bank balances? Discuss your portfolios?


    So shut up being so negative and enjoy the first date.