18 and falling for a married man, need advice?

Before I get shunned for how it's not okay to interfere with relationships, let me explain. I was introduced to a much older man (31) by a guy friend, because he knew he was my type. This night we went out to party and hooked up all night, (no sex) I didn't know he was going through a divorce but he told me he had a kid. I got his number before the night was through and texted him thanking him for the good night, he looked out for me. We had constantly texted until now and he calls me pet names tells me how perfect I am etc, but at the same time says he doesn't want to make selfish decisions and wants to put his son first. His wife is constantly calling him and he's moving back in with her until he has enough money for his own place. He was still leading me on and we had sex once like a week ago, and a few days after he visited me at work. He texted me on his son's birthday the next day, and hasn't texted me since. I'm really needy for attention but I know there's a lot going on in his life right now, I don't wanna be annoying. It's been a few days since we've texted. Is he forgetting me? What do I do? I think I'm expecting too much but I don't know how to get out of it?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I honestly doubt he's looking for anything more than sex from you. He's in the middle of a divorce, he has his child to think about, and, obviously, his son comes before you. I can't imagine that he would be interested in a relationship.

    I think you are expecting too much. I honestly think you should just end it and find someone closer to your age range who isn't as "settled," so to speak, as this guy. You're 18, do you really want to be involved with an older man who is getting divorced and has a kid? I know I wouldn't.

    You're still young, find a guy you can have a drama-free relationship with (because really, throwing an ex-wife and a kid into the situation with this man just screams potential drama in my opinion). Find someone you can have fun with and more in common with. Just my opinion.


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What Guys Said 2

  • It makes me wonder where your parents went wrong for you to be attracted to someone almost twice your age. How does a 31-year old have anything in common with an 18-year old? How could he be "your type"? Unless that means guys who can't maintain a relationship, go for girls who weren't even born when he was a teen and can't afford his own house? If I were him, I most likely would have been using you for sex so I could validate my own ego and pretend that I wasn't nearing middle-aged.

    • Take out the insults and this is pretty much what I'd say.

    • Show All
    • This, unfortunately. What kind of friend even sets someone up with a married man twice their age?

    • Yea, I questioned that myself...it was my co worker's friend, I don't know. I think this was all stupid to begin with.

  • Stop being involved with a married man. Period.


What Girls Said 1

  • He's got a lot going on in his life right now and unfortunately you may just be his distraction. If you want to continue with him you need to be ready to have a FWB relationship at best since he will likely be unwilling to commit to another relationship right after a divorce...

    • True...It's hard for the obvious to cross your mind when you're so attention hungry. But you're right. Maybe I'm just being self centered. Guess I never thought about his position.

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