Girls... why would you cancel a date with a guy?

I recently asked this question ( link ) about how around the last 15 or so girls I've arranged dates with have all cancelled and then not wanted to see me another time or continually cancelled on me until I gave up. Unfortunately everyone just said the problem is me without telling me what about me the problem is. I thought I'd try again with a little more information. Take this as an example...

I approach a girl to talk to her - She either walks off (might be busy/leaving, might be in a bad mood), rejects me right away (doesn't find me attractive, has a boyfriend, is a lesbian, ect) or talks to me (is either looking for attention, being polite or finds me attractive). I can understand the reasons for all these responses.

We talk for a bit and I suggest we meet up again some time and ask her for her number - She either agrees (looking for more attention, has decided she is interested in me, or is scared to reject me to my face) or refuses (isn't interested in me for whatever reason). I can understand the reasoning for either of these as well.

I text her and try to arrange a date - She either doesn't reply (only wanted the ego boost, met a guy she liked better, gave me a fake number to get rid of me), doesn't want to go on a date/won't give an answer (isn't interested) or agrees to it (because she wants to meet me). Again I understand all of these

The thing I don't get is that every girl I've asked for the last 6+ months that has agreed to go on a date has cancelled, either by texting me the night or morning before, or by not responding to any texts on the day we are meant to meet. Why do girls do this? What is the motivation? Surely if they didn't like me they had plenty of opportunity to turn me down just like the others that didn't like me?

What would make you do this to a guy?

All I can think is that every woman I have approached/asked out has found me unattractive and that the ones who have agreed to a date are massive attention whores, who just wanted to feel that they could date me and that I was attracted to them, but never actually wanted to date or felt any attraction towards me.

Nobody else seems to be able to think of any better reason either.
I guess I'm right and just universally unattractive (or at least close to it) and that the numbers and fake agreement to dates I get are a combination of those women being either shy or just looking for attention/validation. Unless any girls want to volunteer reasons why you have flaked on a guy before? Or why you might consider it?


Most Helpful Girl

  • The fact that you think all these girls are "looking for attention" or "looking for ego boosts" is concerning... Don't assume things like that.

    You call girls who talk to you "attention whores"...

    You seem to have a bad view of women and this may show through your texts following the initial ask out.

    It's not normal that they all cancel. They are not accepting because they're looking for attention, an ego boost or attention whores. Something (and we can't tell you what it is unless we witness it because you're not telling us) is scaring these girls away.

    If we're not interested we don't give you our number.

    • So you think no girls ever look for attention?

      I'm not claiming all or most girls look to use men for attention. I approached/messaged around 600 women in a 3 month period and less than 50 gave out their numbers, obviously none of these met me, but even some of those 50 could have just been too shy/scared to directly reject me.

      I'm saying that a minority of girls will string a guy they aren't into along for attention.

    • Show All
    • What do you mean by talk to them? I finish the conversation we were having and reply if they talk after that. I don't constantly text them though, since I've only met these girls once, constantly texting them will just seem needy.

      A couple of drinks, alcohol or coffee, depending on when we are both free haha.

    • That's very strange... I don't know then :s

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 5

  • Solution: Don't chat up random girls in the street. Doesn't count for everyone, but women are very aware of creeps in this world. If a guy wanted to go on a date with me just because of how I look, without really chatting, I'd think he wants it just for one reason.

    • I didn't meet all of them that way though. A few were from online dating and some others I met on nights out. Admittedly none of them were girls I knew well but then my social group and work have no single women close to my age, so I have no choice.

      If I am a creep why give me their numbers? Why not just tell me to fuck off?

  • They have good instincts. Go back and look at the rest of your questions, especially the ones concerning "feminists" and rape, and ask yourself why any sane woman would want to be alone on a date with you. These girls can tell you're a creep and they want nothing to do with you

    • Opposing feminism = Creep

      Stalking someone online and abusing him on all his questions is perfectly healthy and normal.

  • Maybe she chickened out caz her friends talked her out of it or she got some background on him

    • As I said this is a recurring problem, not a single girl.

    • Show All
    • I highly doubt my background has any relevence to this. I don't have a bad reputation or anything.

    • well ya never know

  • maybe she started having second guesses.,

    she sounds kind of immature to em

    • As I said this is a recurring problem, not a single girl.

    • yeah...

      i really have no idea. its so strange to me that someone would do that.

      i always follow through

  • I'm honestly stumped at this. I personally wouldn't agree to go out with a guy unless I was going to follow through. Otherwise, why agree to it?

    • All I can think is that every woman I have approached/asked out has found me unattractive and that the ones who have agreed to a date are massive attention whores, who just wanted to feel that they could date me and that I was attracted to them, but never actually wanted to date me.

    • Show All
    • I am just strongly against online dating being the standard advice for men who can't get any women interested in them, since the men who struggle with women will have an even harder time due to the increased competition. There is no need to be sorry :)

    • True...and that's where I'm biased on that front because I'm a girl and have no idea what it's like for a guy lol

What Guys Said 1

  • Damn I actually made a similar question.

    I'm having the same problem but it's mostly online since I work a lot of hours and I don't want to date coworkers. I was gonna risk it with one coworker twice and both times she flaked on me... now she's pregnant with someone else's kid and she already has one of her own from someone who bailed on her.

    The annoying part is that a lot of them I'll even have places and times planned for. Suddenly no replies. Or the second I suggest meeting up and suggest times and places... gone! I already know girls love the attention online, it's just sad that they only want the attention and nothing more.

    Yet I'll go on craigslist and manage to meet girls off of casual encounters with no problems and blatantly walk into their places and have sex with them without exchanging names even... go figure.

    • Yeah, a few of mine were from online dating. I gave it up as its even less effective than approaching random women on the street in terms of getting numbers, neither has gotten me any dates though lol.

Loading... ;