Am I her boyfriend or her best friend?

So I've been talking to/seeing this girl for about two years. We dated for a little bit but we both aren't fond of titles. However, for the last two years minus the 3 weeks we didn't talk because we broke up we have talked several times a day often spending 2-4 hours a day on the phone, hung out every free day we could per week (1-2 times), and we get along really well. My family loves her whereas her family isn't fond of me because I am not of their culture. She has gone on several family trips, spent Thanksgiving 2 years in a row with me, as well as birthdays, and other important dates.

We hookup every few weeks. The two of us don't really have this super high sex drive so our love affair is mostly intellectually speaking. We do hold hands and kiss a fair amount. I guess I am getting older because I think I could marry her but I am uncertain of our situation. We both hate that whole cliche boyfriend/girlfriend thing as we find it archaic in nature. When I do bring up the possibility of marriage and having kids she seems to engage but other times seems disinterested. I also have stop initiating contact and hanging out to gauge her interest. She has called me and asked to hang out constantly. When I am busy and can't talk she gets anxiety and tells me that she is extremely attached and dependent on me unlike any person before. Well, thank you for your input in advance and have a great evening!


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What Girls Said 2

  • Discuss it. You seem to be having feelings and for that sake you need to discuss it with her so you know if you're actually in a relationship or she sees you as a friend and may leave if she meets someone else.

    • We talk about it... We both don't want a label but we also don't want to date other people. She's in school still I'm done starting my practice. I love her and she loves me it's just an odd place. We both usually are happy alone and just hooking up with people when we feel like it but now we love being around each other and being close that we don't know what to really do.

    • Are you sure her dislike of labels isn't due to something else? I've used that line on people I didn't want to be with or scared to be with or ashamed to be with but was happily content with others.

    • Yeah I'm sure. Her exes were all the same. She gets uneasy about labels. We've spent pretty much every day for the last 2 years together and I know she's not a liar or anything. Her friends even warned me about how she gets. I didn't care cause initially it was just fun but we've grown super attached and such. I just spent the last 2 hours on the phone with her and I HATE the phone. We both really love one another. It's insane but we both hate labels

  • You need to break up for a while or take a break while she grows a back bone. Her being totally dependent on you or anyone person is very unhealthy.. you're keeping her in this unhealthy state by entertaining her. Tell her to take some time and get her shyt together.

    • I've tried. I don't want her to be so dependent. She calls me crying and telling me how much I mean to her. I am a sucker for her. Any other girl I wouldn't really care that much. With her she has this special power over me and me with her. It's intoxicating and grosses me out because I've never been one to act in such a manner. Usually I'm the a-hole your parents warned you about.

    • Don't answer her calls, she'll have to learn to take control of her own life sometime. You'd be doing her a favor by taking some time apart.. she won't like it but it's what she needs imo.

    • Yeah, man I think I'm in that sort of situation. I'm also that a**hole that mothers warn their daughters about and fuck... I've got issues and I put up huge walls but there is this one girl I'm talking to who just tears them down. I do feel weird about how she gets to me and I put the walls back up and she gets upset. I guess maybe you just really like the girl and she really likes you and you should just go with it.

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