Guy I am dating revealed he had a drug past and violent past, I'm not OK with it, he loves me hard to break up

Hi, I've been dating a guy for about 2 months. we live in different cities so total time togehter has been maybe more like 3 weeks to one month. Anyway he's very much in love with me but he randomly has told me some horrific things, like he threw a guy off a bridge for touching his ex girlfriend (status unknown, not even sure if the guy died :( ). he did cocaine for a year or too. All these things I'm not OK with. Going to tell him that but maybe he won't be very happy. he misses me everyday but I didn't know this stuff beforehand about him. I guess I can't live with the fear.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Two main things worth mentioning here...

    1) How you FEEL about a guy (for example, "love") shouldn't EVER be a priority for your own safety or future happiness.

    Listen... some foods and drinks taste AMAZING! Like pizza or chocolate bars. But logically you should know that you will live a horrible unhappy life if you choose to eat pizza and chocolate bars for every meal, your entire life. Bad Boys are like junk food and need to be kept out of your regular life.

    It's OKAY to love someone without being WITH them.

    Put yourself first, not your "feelings."

    It's called being mature and grown up. Nobody else is going to take care of that little girl who grew up into a woman... that's you and that's your job.

    2) This is the kind of guy that you don't break up with in person, nor do you agree to see him alone to get your things. I've had a few ex girlfriends tell me such stories, and I've seen enough 48 Hours to know that some guys BREAK BAD.

    So don't ever see him again, while alone. And make sure to let plenty of close friends know what's going on so that you can BUG OUT should he turn crazy.

    Please take care of your damn self.

    You're worth it. :D

    ~ Robby


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What Guys Said 2

  • I wouldn't blame you for breaking up with him because that violence can be taken out on you one day. Like if you "touched" another guy(and it got misunderstood) would he hit you like the way he hit the guy who touched his ex?

    Plus people on drugs can relapse and you could be stuck dealing with him in rehab and such.

  • Understandable.

    So... what's the question?


What Girls Said 3

  • yeah you don't want to marry someone like that one day, he sounds like he was controlling with his ex and abusive to anyone that went near her - no friends, constant accusations on if she's cheating, maybe abusive to her too

  • Drugs, fine, maybe... a lot of people dabbble but the violence is scary.

    People either have that in them or they don't. If it's there it usually stays. Most guys I know couldn't even fathom the idea of throwing someone off a bridge never mind go through with it.

  • You have to force yourself to. I believe in you.