Give the guy a chance or move on? PLEASE READ

So I meet this guy about 5 months ago through mutual friends. We went on dates and for the last four months I've stayed at his place about 3-4 a week, he gave me a nickname and so on. BUT he's been very hot and cold the whole time. About a month ago we talked about the future, since he was planning on going backpacking. He said that he didn't want a relationship or get serious but that he wanted to keep seeing me, that he wish he met me after his travels and that he would like to get another chance when he gets back. Just after our talk I went away for a week and he sent me messages saying he missed me and wanted me to come home etc. etc. One night he got drunk and stayed at my place because he "missed my smell" and wrote a cute (drunk) letter to me. When I got back he told me to never go away for that long again, and I said something like "But you're the one leaving to be away for months" and he got a bit irritated by my reply. Slightly after this he was busy with exams and started being a bit cold again, and then nice and cute again. And then cold again. And then cute and then...

And this leads up to today, he left for his trip yesterday. We stayed at each others places the nights before, but when he drove me home yesterday morning he was acting weird and all he really said was good bye and gave me a "normal" kiss. I suck at good byes and didn't want to cry in front of him so I just jumped out of the car, went inside and cried for like hours and then later texted him explaining that I'm shit at good byes but that I'll miss him. And he sent, in my opinion, a half hearted message back.

So what I'm wondering is... Was he acting like this because he doesn't like me anymore? Should I just leave it(I really, really don't want to)? Or can I try to stay in touch with him while he's gone? Should I give him another chance when he gets back? (he might be gone for 2-4 months) If yes, what should I do when he gets back? WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Super grateful for all/any replies.

(sorry for any grammar mistakes, English is my second language)


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  • Well in my experiences, (if a guy is acting like that) it's all mixed messages. It's like, "Oh okay, do you like me, or not." I had the same experience with my best friend, (I know, I know.) I have asked him if he liked me, and he didn't give me a straight forward answer. So really, that made me think that he didn't really have that much feelings for me. So I shrugged it off, yeah I was sad, but I finally had relief, it took me a year and a few months to tell him how I felt. So maybe, your guy doesn't like you (not saying for sure he does,) but doesn't want your feelings to get hurt.

    Maybe he acted distant from you because he knew he was going on that trip, and he doesn't want you to get attached on him. You know what I mean? But since you guys aren't official, maybe you can go out with the girls to a club or something to get your mind off of him til he comes back. And then see how things are.