Guys with extra phone?

Okay so I've known this guy for about 2 years. We dating on and off throughout that time. I usually always turned him down though because I wasn't really interested in dating.

One night we got into a little argument through text. Then a month later he text me and we hung out. We had sex for the first time that night. Actually that was also our first kiss. For two years I never was interested in him in that way at all but then something just happen and I finally recognized his beauty.. (lame and cheesy I know but whatever)..

anyway, a few days later we get together and we're drunk. we have sex again. The next day we woke up was Thanksgiving so we both were gonna be busy for next few days.

I didn't hear from him for about 5 days which I expected as the holiday had arrived. So last night he text me from a different number and I asked him why.. he said "work phone, come to XXX" some restaurant in the town we live. I told him I wasn't interested. Then about 2 hours later he text me if he can come over.. So I said no and then when he asked why I just ignored him.

Do you think I have trust issues or am I right to think something is fishy.. like why suddenly using a "work phone". and even though I knew he would be busy for a few days who does he think he is texting me last minute to meet up for dinner and then when I didn't come he text me like for a botty call. ? Or am I overreacting? Thoughts? Opinions?

Also, just wanna point out.. it's not like he's hiding me. He openly kisses me in public.. around is friends. etc.. he is well known in our town as he is a police officer. So when the thought crossed my mind about him having a girlfriend I had to deny it... also he could just want to use me but then again he did invite me out with him.. so idk?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, personally I know guys that do have extra phones for work, I don't think that you should think too much into it, but the big question is what do you want to come out of your friendship/relationship. He made it clear to you that he wants to date you, but you turned him down and so instead it became casual, it's like you two only have sex, but based on what you said I'm sensing that you're developing feelings for him cause you don't want to know if he has someone I mean you should think about what you want and make it clear to him or else he'll just keep wanting sex and keep it casual..

    • Exactly, It's not that I have lots of feelings for him but I do not know what the future can bring and I'm older now and just not interested in a casual or just sexual relationship. But you are right, he probably feels that he is doing the right thing since I turned him down in the past and I kind of created the path for him. I guess talking to him is the only way to change it. maybe I am freaking out a little too much though. Thanks for your help!

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What Guys Said 2

  • Having a second phone is always a little bit suspicious, but then again a lot of people have 'work' phones, but then why did he call you from the 'work' phone and not his personal one? Either way I think that maybe he's getting mixed messages from you... I mean you reject him for 2 years while dating him on and off, then you ended up having random sex with him and this happened a 2nd time before you didn't speak with him for 5 days. Then when he tries to get in touch with you to see you again, you point blank reject him? I don't see what's wrong with him wanting to take you to a restaurant or for him to want to come over and see you? I mean are you absolutely sure that he only wanted to come over for that one reason? To him it may appear that he is continuing the pleasantries and you are just ignoring him! I may have misunderstood the situation here, but it sounds to me like you are giving him mixed messages and are being a little mean by ignoring him.

    Unless you are absolutely sure that his 2nd phone is not for 'work' and that he only wanted to pop over to your place for that one reason, I think you are overreacting and being harsh on the guy. I'm not saying that he wasn't doing those things, but I feel that it's unfair to assume the worst and treat him as such. I think you should contact this guy and ask to speak with him. Explain to him why you have been the way you have been with him and talk this out. If you feel that everything is OK and you can trust him, then apologise for the way you have been with him and hopefully things will improve between you two. I hope that all makes sense and I wish you good luck with this situation... :o)

    • I totally agree with you but here's the thing.. he text me around 8:30 PM and asked me to meet him there..I'm assuming he was out with his friends. Then he text me around 10:00 pm asking to come over... we are both adults so you think at that hour he wanted to come over to talk? And no, it was 5 days I didn't hear from him until last night. We had sex on a Friday and then on wed night we got together again.. then didn't hear from him 5 days and then I get late night text. maybe I'm overreacting

    • But you know what, you are totally right.. I have been giving mixed signals. It wasn't intentional.. How can I tell him that I don't want to just have sex with him.? Is it possible to get out of this situation? I just want to date him for real. Give him a chance and he give me one ..or another.

    • Well it sounds to me like you just need to be straight with him... Tell him how you feel. From what you've said, he's only ever been nice and attentive towards you, so if that's what you want, then maybe open up to him more, explain to him why you have been this way and what you have been thinking and feeling. Make clear to him what you want and apologise for the mixed messages... I really hope that he still wants the same as you and that things work out for the two of you! :o)

  • Any guy I know to have had two phones is a player and a cheat, so I don't think it's a good thing in all honesty. Yes someone could actually have a phone for work, but it seems much like overkill to me, I was phoned by many people I worked with, still used my everyday phone though, same as everyone else.


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