Does he just have me on the backburner atm? Or could I just be over thinking?

So I have been dating this guy for 2 months now who at first I seemed to get along with like peas and carrots. We seemed to have so much in common and we connected very well and felt very comfortable around one another.

These days I don't really see or hear from him much anymore and its really starting to bother me. Last week I hung out with him and watched a movie at his place and had sex with him for the second time and after the date ended he said he would text me, and never did. Before that I hadn't seen him in quite awhile and when I had asked him about it he said it was because he had been very busy with work, had been very sick, and had been with his family a lot since his 3 year old son who he only gets to see a few times a year is currently visiting him for the holidays.

I know that from the looks of it, it seems like he is just using me for sex but he has said more than once including the last time I saw him without me saying anything that he has no interest at all in a causal relationship with casual sex and only wants something serious and meaningful because he would like to settle down and start a family soon. This confuses me because I feel like if he is being truthful about this, then why would he have anything to do with me at all if I was just a casual fling?

Should I continue to be patient and give him some more time for us to reconnect with one another? I feel so disappointed right now because before we used to text and see each other almost everyday, and now I hardly see or hear from him at all.


Most Helpful Girl

  • It seems to me that you're giving this guy way too much control. what is it that YOU want? No I'm not saying for you to become this pushy chick and scare him off but like seriously you have to be considerate of your feelings. It seems like you leave everything up to him. Also him saying he wants something serious and showing the opposite..I could be wrong but maybe he's saying that because he knows that that's what you want to hear and he's trying to keep you within his reach. this guy lead me on like crazy saying how much he wanted to be with me hut his actions just never match. when it really came down to it, it was always some excuse: busy, having family problems, etc. Yet expected me to have sex with him without being his official girlfriend. Seeing that that's something HE wanted and not what I wanted, things never worked out. Think about yourself more. Don't wait around for guys especially when their actions don't match the stuff they say.

    • I want to have a relationship with him and see and maintain contact with him frequently. I have tried making my point clear more than once than if he doesn't want a relationship with me to tell me and he swears that it had nothing to do with that, that it was because of work, his family, and his phone had been shut off due to some money issues. He started saying that serious relationship crap before I went on a first date with him, so I'm not sure whether he means it or not.

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    • Ok. I wish you the best and that's exactly what you deserve.. the best.

    • Thank you. :)

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What Girls Said 2

  • I know you asked guys for advice but wanted to tell you I understand how you are feeling oh too well. I hope a guy answers you so I can see what they think. Sorry feeling used sucks I'm feeling that way myself...

    • Not necessarily. Either gender can answer.

  • Actions speak louder than words. He's telling you what you want to hear but his actions do not show a guy who wants more than sex