There are some really cute girls at church group and I want to go on a date with one and spend time with her and make her my girlfriend, very inexperienced, how do I make a girl at church my girlfriend?
I would like advice from a girls perspective please.
I don't want to scare her off by asking too early.
Most Helpful Girl
well, I have some advice... based on the fact that you know her from church, I'll assume you are Christian, so advice from a Christian girl's perspective might be closer to what you want. Idk. Some people go to church, but aren't all that convicted, and I have no way of knowing what type you are, so just take what you want of my advice :)
I can't speak for all Christian girls obviously, but I know that my friends and I all look for certain characteristics in men. First off, that they are Christians (duh). If the girls you are looking at are very converted, they will most likely be able to tell to some extent if you are the real deal or not by the way you act/speak. For example, if you are constantly swearing or speaking bad about someone, it won't reflect well on your character as a Christian, and girls like me won't like that.
As well as the obvious things that most girls look for, (looks, charm, etc.) Christian girls tend to notice when a man will be a good spiritual leader (this doesn't mean you have to go around talking like a Jesus freak, just have your heart in the right place, and offer encouragement or advice when needed), a good father (good to children, the elderly, animals, must be patient and gentle), a leader (many Christian guys are total pushovers. Obviously don't be controlling or demanding, but you should have a good head on your shoulders, be honest about your wants, and be prepared to offer tough love), and he needs to make her feel safe. Like, she could call at any time for any reason without fear of ridicule. Guys often make girls out to be extremely foolish when they get emotional. Often times, it is pretty foolish, but in the moment, our pain is real, and being told that we're just being hormonal is a horrible feeling. We feel unable to be ourselves.
So, to answer your question, I wouldn't worry too much about trying to ask a girl out quite yet, as much as I would work on these things in yourself, and then spend more time with the girls in group settings. If there are youth groups, or bible studies or something like that, just put yourself in with where the girls are and start to get to know them. Obviously be gentlemanly, opening doors, giving compliments, and anything else you can think of to be charming, but don't ask her out. The guys in my church that are secretly fawned over are the ones that nobody knows who they like because they are so nice to everyone. One guy just gives compliments all the time to everyone, and he has so many secret admirers. This has gone on several years, so now all he'd need to do is ask a girl out, and he could be married within the year... haha Just be secretive about your affections, and make sure everyone knows you can be their friend.
I'm kinda rambling (sorry) but one more point. When I'm with a guy I like, I feel uncomfortable. When he's a friend, I feel safe, and I can talk to him. Be a friend, and the secret admirers will start building up!4