Is he a guy with serious issues and could he be a sociopath

He is extremely attentive, phones, emails or texts constantly

Mad if I miss call. Sends rude text

One time snatched my phone out my hand to read my messages.

He hides his from me and always gets calls in my presence never answers though.says its his mom. When he's home he would whisper down phone. Even cut me off like he's hiding something.

He gets serious fast. Talks about the love of his life, or moving in together. Talk about kids

He is jealous – he has no mates. An I wanted to go out and he was invited too but he said don't go I want you to myself. Says he don't want guys looking at me. Said only time to go out will be with him.never wanted to go out or pay to take me out. I paid once.

Slags off my friend and says she will try to influence you. She isn't like that.

He blames others eg for his failed relationship. Saying they all cheated on him so he is scared to lose me. Almost playing victim to excuse his behaviour.

He doesn’t take notice of your feelings, ‘Don’t be silly…’"or shut up when I don't believe what he says. Either goes quiet on the phone or hangs up.

He is moody and unpredictable, an even admitted that when he's annoyed about something he takes it out on me usually but one time he said he is being like that with everyone.

accuses me of being unfaithful, or of flirting with other men.

An quizzes me the next day after I go out. Sent me abusive text once saying your loose bet you sucked a guy.

Always complimenting my looks and saying I am smart. Doesn't make plans in advance. Very short notice.asks for favours but never repays them. Brings uni work when he's spending time with me to see if I will 'help'. Over the phone asked me about his work and said I am doing this for 'us'. He even made bribes if you help me quickly I can get to see you then. Had the audacity to say if you pay my taxi will be there in no time. I refused.

Stood me up 5 times during relationship. Well whatever you'd call it.

A lot of issues he has right?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Obsessive, impulsive, reclusive, secretive, blames others for his past failures, this is rather typical for those who cannot accept that they are fallible.

    Yes, a lot of issues. My only question, to rather answer yours is; what does he bring to the table? Is he an interesting person? Does he have a high paying job? Is there any reason for you to excuse this insane behavior?

    There is something seriously wrong with this fellow, a deep seated insecurity I wouldn't touch with a forty-foot pole, and that's only my initial impression, I'm sure that even if I met this unfortunate fellow, I wouldn't offer any more of an optimistic prognosis.

    Psychology is one of the things I'm better with, and yes, I'd say that there is something deeply wrong with him, and even if not, you've got no reason to put up with the crap you're already going through from him.

    • Yeah he is all them things. Worst guy I've ever met. Truly couldn't meet anyone worse unless there a murderer or rapist. :/ yeah no reason to deal with it. Was never in love with him. I ended it. I just feel mentally drained. I thought I was going mad but he is the crazy one with issues and he is indenial about them which is obsurd.

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    • Just keep trying, it's important to keep trying. Sane people are hard to find anywhere, everywhere you look there's more insane people, none of them are exciting, just boring and overly dramatic. But, yes, it is hard to trust people and not even just for that, it you can give any number of reason to not trust a person, it takes a special kind of bravery to trust a person, for whatever reason.

    • Keep trying with men? Lol I feel like I can't be bothered to make effort as

      Its hard to find someone who reciprocates what I'm looking for. I'm not giving up just thinking I need time away from guys. Really petrified about getting hurt which isn't good for future. Yeah I know lol. Many have ulterior motives lol.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • yes, a lot of iisues, but they don't sound unusual or pathological. He's just immature and possessive, and hasn't had any instruction on how to relate to the opposite sex.

    He's also, not surprisingly, insecure, since a lot of girls would wave goodbye at the first sign of this kind of controlling and abusive behavior.

    • Yeah he says girls left him quick. I stayed around longer then I should of

      Just didn't want to be compared to them when I did want it to work

      But he can't deal with or get counselling cause he doesn't acknowledge his issues. So had to let go

      And will eventually move on to a sane guy.

    • Yes, you had no choice. Don't look back.

    • I won't. Thank you. Nice to see its not me going mad!

  • do you have any advice on how to cut ties with someone like that. I know a girl who is in your exact same situation and has been with him for 4 years and she dated me once when he left her before she ran back to him and was using me because of her loneliness she felt away from him. I'm not at all concerned about my relationship with her it didn't last very long but I worry about her emotional health and happiness going back to a guy who is exactly like the guy you described in this question.


What Girls Said 4

  • If I were you, I'd try to get rid of him. I've seen this behaviour in some of my psychology classes and it seems textbook: declaring his love for you, trying to bad talk your friends so you'll ditch them, trying to get you away from your friends so you'll have nobody else but him so you'll have to stay with him because he's all you got and he loves you so dearly.

    He stood you up, is rude, hides things and doesn't explain when you ask him something. Doesn't really seem a healthy relationship to me. So if I were you, I'd break up with him asap.

    • Very true. I ended it

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    • Thank you. Good to know I wasn't going mad with thinking he has issues lol. Thanks x

    • You're welcome!

  • Right he has issue and its called controlling. HE wants to be the center of your world and only him in your world. He is holding you back from so much more and being treating like a real person. He stands up for you once in a while and tells you your are pretty that is just to gain control back. He know what you want to hear and he tells you it and then you think okay he is really nice then he then has the upper hand to treat you anyway he wants knowing you will stick around if he says your pretty your smart. Get away from it becasue the longer you stay the worse it will get because it will become more of a physical abusive "Relationship"

    • Hi thanks for answering. Your very right. He's a control freak and just told me what I wanted to hear

      So I would stick around. Its true. I ended it with him which was hard but in a way easy because

      He didn't treat me good. An abused me emotionally and mentally.

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    • Yeah I think deep down he knows he has issues as he kept saying why do you like me. Cus other girls left him quick and moved on cause he admitted he was like that with them. So that should of really made me leave him as if he is like that back then and is still like it. He won't change that is how he is. Was hard to accept it but he isn't going to be a good boyfriend. Glad he's out my life now feel relieved and like I can smile again. He put me threw hell.

    • Hell you didn't deserve and glad you found that out and moved forward. Just keep your head there is somone out there who would be lucky to have you and treat you the way you deserve.. Good luck and never settle for less

  • Sociopath

  • do yourself a favour and get rid of him! I dated a man like this for 4 years; he crushed my self esteem so low and made me cry at least once a week or fortnight! don't waste time on a man like this. even if you care for him you need to decide what's best for you! you are going to end up in an emotionally abusive relationship; and who knows he may be the violent type too (by the sounds of it). They say you get what you think you deserve; so know and believe that you will find someone who will treat you with respect and not make you feel small

    good luck x

    • some signs of an abusive partner include trying to isolate you from family and friends (so they have no control over you) and to make you feel so worthless that you can't live without him! please don't allow yourself to get to this stage

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    • Sorry for what you went through. I cried nearly everyday whilst with him. He let me down constantly and didn't even think he did anything wrong. An when I called him out on it. He would make out it was my fault or like I had no right to be upset and angry. Crazy and indenial. He won't ever change .

      He once shouted at me over the phone and I was rude back to him and he was like I will give you a slap. He threatened that but never did it. But I do think there is that side to him.

    • yep that's exactly what my ex would do to me; when he was in the wrong he would somehow spin it around to make me in the wrong - and I would end up apologising to him like a loser! now I look back and think I was an idiot for actually believeing I was wrong all those times, anyways all the best!

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