Insight into her behaviour and why I can't just walk away (very long read, you've been warned !)

Insight into her behaviour and why I can't just walk away?

Okay so here is a brief background: Me and this girl have along history, met about 4 years ago we started kinda seeing each other but I left things too late, failed to capitalize on 2 dates, one night out and a sleep over (no sex) and she moved on, we stopped talking mostly but she'd text me on my birthday and vice versa, that went on for about 3 years.

This year she kept talking to me, arranged to meet up with me and we went out, had a great time spent like 7 hours together having coffee then went for drinks, it was great. Part of the conversation was about both of us wanting more serious plans for life, she also told me about 2 guys she'd been seeing and they hadn't worked out, one guy she really like (the one she moved onto) messed her around but she showed me a text to clarify she was over him now (he texted twice she didn't reply). It went well she texted straight after date, seemed great.

She suggested another meet up and I took the opportunity to arrange one.

Unfortunately in the 2 days leading upto the date she didn't reply to my text and on the day itself she text to say she couldn't make it, her brother who works away was coming up for the last time before Christmas and then she had work all night (despite telling me she was off before and not bothering to mention work till now). Her lack of texting was due to illness apparently and she forgot... okay.

I wasn't happy, a bit snotty at first but I wished her a good Xmas and said we'd see what happen when she's sorted out. She did text me today (2days of no texting) saying something about meeting up next times she's off. Don't want to miss an opportunity but I'm not being fucked about by her again.

I'm going out with friends next week, I feel like sending her a text with everything I need to say to her, good, bad and everything between so I have closure and an can just forget her like I should, I hate drunk texting but its better than me coming and pestering you guys every week with a new reason why she flaked and being head ****ed more.


Most Helpful Girl

  • If you tell her everything, just be prepared for her to either want to talk to you about it or completely boot you out of her life.

    In her defense though, you did say how you were the one to mess it up the first time with flaking on dates and all, so give her a break for having a guard built up when it comes to you. Maybe she doesn't want to get attached and hurt again.

    • I never flaked on any dates ? All dates have been arranged by me save one and she falked on ones before years ago, and the one recently, before I was shy and I can understand her thinking I might not have been interested but as of the recent contact I've been very forward, its her that seems to have backed off and flaked my dear.

    • Sorry, your first paragraph [[but I left things too late, failed to capitalize on 2 dates]] made it come off that way. my bad for reading it wrong.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • I think you should wait a little bit and then see if she comes forward and takes the lead on wanting to go out and what not. If she doesn't, just move on.


What Guys Said 1

  • Honesty, you should spill your guts, it'll help you move on, its a little selfish because your putting your needs before everything else, but if you feel that this is right then just go with it, you'll be able to move on and find someone else, of course not right away, but eventually, so ya, just tell her how you feel.

    • Yea that's what I'm thinking, I mean I could play along see if this other date materializes or not but I'd rather use the opportunity of having alcohol courage to say everything and move forward.

    • Show All
    • Thing is the date is not arrange she simply mentioned meeting up at some point (as she flaked before) it might never happen and I need that drop of liqueur to loosen me up enough to say everything I need to, not drunk or to use it as an excuse just a lightener up.

    • I get what it does, and I understand that you need it, but if she won't go to you, you go to her