Should I continue to wait for him? (Long)

So I started dating this guy late September who at first seemed to be so perfect. We had so much in common, and he was so sweet and charming. He told me he wanted a serious long term monogamous relationship with someone and that he saw me as material for that. I agreed with him and things were just great. We texted almost everyday and saw each other multiple times a week.

In mid October his 3 year old son who he only gets to see a few times a year from an ex girlfriend came to visit him. Ever since then he has been incredibly distant, and has been almost acting like I don't even exist. He never initiates texts anymore, a lot of times doesn't even respond to mine. I have asked him over text more than once to please tell me if he is no longer interested in me so I can get closure on the situation. He has always answered with something like "Its not that, I've just been trying to spend as much time as I can with my son." as well as the last time I asked him that he had been sick, had his phone shut off due to money problems etc.

He's also been extremely stressed out with work so he says and says that he keeps to himself on the days that he's had a bad day because he doesn't want to "act like a dick and say the wrong thing."

Anyway, the last time I saw him was about a month ago just a couple of days before Thanksgiving. He said he would text me afterward but since then hasn't initiated any text messages and everytime I've tried to text him he's been in an incredibly bad mood and will say "What's up?" then when I ask him how he's doing he'll reply with "Just another fed up day." or something like that.

I'm getting quite annoyed with his behavior and am thinking about just calling it quits since I will be starting college in a couple of weeks and I know I'll get to meet plenty of new guys. At the same time I just feel really attached to this guy and don't want to give up with him, but a part of me feels like he's just keeping me on the backburner and really is no longer interested in me.

Yesterday I texted him a sweet Christmas message and he hasn't even responded yet...

Any advice on this? I'm pretty sure his son is still visiting him since he posted a picture of him on Facebook a few days ago. I have not yet gotten to meet his son which doesn't bother me since the situation with him is extremely complicated and I understand that he wouldn't want to bring a new girl around him just yet.

Should I continue to wait for this guy? I'm thinking the next time I see him in person I would like to have a serious discussion with him asking him what he wants out of this situation with me, but I have no idea when I'll get to see him again.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I don't really believe the excuses he gives for his behavior towards you. Something did change and I think he isn't being honest with you. I get the impression that you feel the same way. Even if his son returned to the mother and he started acting normal again, what's to prevent him from doing this again later? If I were in this situation I would want to know the truth behind his major change of attitude toward you. If he cannot give a reason that makes sense and is acceptable to you, but continues to give you flippant excuses, I would say that he isn't taking you seriously. Or he doesn't treat people very well.

    • So should I try to meet him in person and ask him for an explanation then?

      Yeah I know, it does feel like something is different. It just really pisses me off because he was the one that pursued me and at first I wasn't that into him and once I started developing feelings for him he does this...More than anything I just wish he would tell me the truth and set me free so I didn't have to be so confused over this...

    • Show All
    • Whether he was sincere before or not, it doesn't seem like he sees much of a future with you. I don't know why that would have changed so drastically from what you once had.

    • I don't either...I still can't understand why he won't just tell me its over if he doesn't want me anymore. I asked him like 3 times and he would apologize and deny it. I just don't understand it...

What Girls Said 1

  • its been over a month. he is not truthful to you. move on to better guys.

    he was just sweet talk you in the beginning. he has other agenda. you deserve better than someone who you one know for such short time to be treated like this. in the future get to know the guy more before investing feelings into this and don't put his needs first if he isn't to you.