How to handle a guy with walls up?

I just met this guy recently on an online dating site. We've talked a lot through text and phone calls over the last month but we only hang out twice. We had an instant connection and I guess we couldn't resist each other and had sex on the first night. He told me that he feels "ridiculous chemistry" with me and wanted to spend Xmas eve with me so I met his family. Yes- on the second date... I know this is so fast but I guess he feels close to me because we talk a lot. We live about 30 minutes otherwise we would have hung out more already.

Anyway- he told me that he has a lot of walls up and has implied that he basically made some mistakes with the last girl he dated over the summer and that he "got screwed for it". The thing is that he is 40 years old and he is looking for someone to marry.

Hes a teacher so he is off work next few weeks and said his goal is to get his apartment clean.. so I text him this morning and said "good morning, I'm hanging with my brother all day. Hopefully you get your home cleaned".. Then I told him it's hard to do that when you're on the dating site. I said that because it was a joke that we were saying the day before.. So he flips out and says I insulted him saying that he is dirty and accusing him of being online blah blah He says he wants to end everything so I said sent him a text explaining that he misread it but okay..

I was so upset.. I couldn't believe it.. I thought for sure that I wouldn't hear from him again and then later about 6 hours he text me "how was your day with your brother" ?!?! And now he said he wants to continue dating me because he sees so much potential.


  • Continue dating him
    Vote A
  • Stop dating him
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Danger signs, very big danger signs, no one goes off like that and then after calming down act like it didn't happen, you really need to be careful here, because this guy could be more than having walls up and having bars up,x


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • He doesn't have walls up, he got what he wanted and now he's not into it like he was before.

    • i have to disagree... if it was just the sex then he wouldn't have brought me to meet his family.

What Girls Said 1

  • Some girls can be so silly. He has no walls up. He just doesn't like you like that. He sees you for sex only. He's not gonna let you be a big major part of his life because he doesn't want you in it. The typical player will give the line of "oh women hurt me/hard to trust" so you will rationalize it with your female brain of "oh that's why he's like that. he's really not so bad after all, he's just misunderstood/damaged" instead of the harsh truth of: he is only after sex and doesn't give a fuck. All the other lines he gives you is just game to keep you around so he can get more sex.

    And don't say "oh he wouldn't have brought me to meet his family if it was just sex" do you know the lengths a man will go to so he can continue getting sex? He is just sending you mixed signals so you will think he is a good potential man so you will keep dropping the draws. If he really liked you he wouldn't be playing up and down with your emotions and you would be his girlfriend already.

    • I don't think I'd be his girlfriend already but I see what you're saying.. I guess the only way to find out is to stop the sex. Thanks for your advice. He beat me to it though and suggested we meet up for lunch today.. which means we aren't going back to either of our places ... no sex. !

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