Any advice on this guy I met online please?

7 months ago I met this guy by playing ps3 and we are both in highschool. And yeah, I know you're gonna think that it's not safe. But I know that he's not a creep online. I've talked to his friends, his mom, added him on Facebook, etc. we've facetimed and snapchatted and whatnot so I know it's him. He's not just a guy that looks for sex.He comes from a religious family and he believes to wait for sex. Also, for the first few months, I was very cautious and didn't tell him anything personal and he seemed to accept that. He never asks me for pictures or anything like that. We both have talked about meeting, but it won't be an option for a while since I haven't been able to tell my parents yet, and he understands that. A few months ago, he told me that he loved me and I said the same back. I believe him fully. He has become very personal with me and tells me everything. Almost his full family knows of me. We've put a lot of trust and respect in eachother. Of course, we aren't exactly dating. We both know that long distance won't work well, especially since we haven't met. This past month or two, he's been bringing up his friends a lot, especially his friends that are girls. I've gotten so jealous of them and I think he suspects it but I haven't said much about it to him because I don't want to seem clingy. I also feel like there's a lot of girls that he could date and that he will start. He's very attractive and it would be so easy for him to get a girlfriend. I'm not saying he can't, but I'm scared that he will and just forget about me. I'm scared of losing him. He always says he won't ever let me go, but sometimes I don't think he cares. A couple of times I've threatened to let him go because I was so frustrated and all he said was "If that's what you want, go ahead. I'm not stopping you." To me that seems like he just didn't care if I leave. Anyways, lately (this past month) I've been flipping out on him almost everyday and I don't know why. I get frustrated and angry so easily cause all I want is to be with him but it's not possible. I freak out at the slightest things and I always apologize the next day. After that, he says he understands, he still loves me, etc. but then it just happens again and I can't figure out why. He says I've changed and I'm not sure how he really feels about me anymore which makes me feel so distant and easy to lose him. Do you have any idea why this is happening? Do you know how I can prevent it? I want to let him know that I do care about him even though I always start an argument. I just don't know how to tell him and I can't put it in words. Does he even care anymore? Please help. I just need some answers


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What Guys Said 1

  • Ok. First of all. I'm sure this is going to sound like a dad speaking... lol I'm not so sure that what he's feeling is really love, and that you're feeling love either. You have a few things in common, yes, but you've never actually met. I don't know your parents, but would they approve of the relationship? Especially having gone on for 7 months without them knowing?

    Long distance relationships, especially for people as young as you two with raging hormones, rarely work. Just saying. Ok, sometimes they do. But rarely. Especially ones where one is already getting frustrated and angry because the other is talking about friends of the opposite gender. Relationships have no room for jealousy. None. Keep in mind that jealousy is a useless emotion. It accomplishes nothing. It only tears you apart inside. He says you've changed because you've become jealous and insecure and realize you may "lose" him. He doesn't like you being that way so he distances himself, which scares you even more, and the cycle continues.

    You need to stop arguing with him. You need to accept him for who he his. You need to accept the fact you two live far from each other and may never be together. (Reality check. Sorry) It's not his fault. It's circumstantial. It's what life has given you. It's what life has given us. We need to take everything life gives us, enjoy every moment of it, cherish it, stick away the good memories for later, and learn from the bad so we don't repeat them. And go on.

    He still cares. But you need to control your emotions so he'll get closer again. You don't want to get angry and push him away for good. Learn self-control. Savor your time together. Who knows, if you have understanding parents you may see each other.


What Girls Said 1

  • Hi! I think that this boy is an amazing catch.. lol I'm actually looking for a guy just like that <3 but anyway! I think that you need to talk to him. tell him that you really are sorry for how you act on a regular basis.. Tell him that he means a lot to you and are worried that one day he will find someone better than you(which no one is) and that he will leave you and forget you. And see what he says. Then let it go. this is the ultimate test- the ultimate trust test! if he really loves you-then he will always stay faithful to you even if you can't meet yet. Good luck! Hope I helped!

    xoxo <3

    ps: message me if you have any oher questions