I'm really confused about this guy?

This boy I met about 2 months ago seems interested, but I'm not really sure. He asked for my number, sent me a message about how he thinks I'm beautiful on the inside and out, says he wants to go out on a date, and then nothing works out. He doesn't really text back, he keeps cancelling our date, yet whenever he does feel like contacting me, he's very sweet and apologetic. by the way I'm 20 and he's 24. I didn't mind at first, but now it's happening frequently and I'm not sure why exactly he keeps doing this. Any ideas? :/


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What Guys Said 1

  • This kind of behavior can be caused by a lot of different issues. Some examples:

    1) If he's got a lot of drama going on in his personal life (family, friends, whatever) then when things are going well he'll feel secure and happy and make plans with you. When something negative happens he can become so upset that he doesn't want to get together with anyone - especially someone he doesn't know well where he has to seem positive & upbeat. Later when he feels better, he can feel guilty about bailing on you and try to do damage control.

    2) He's interested in someone else too, possibly and on-again/off-again thing. When things aren't looking good with the other person he's pursuing (or involved or semi-involved with) he turns to you. When things seem to improve, he puts you on the back burner.

    Those aren't the only options, it could be other things as well. But whatever his issue is the important thing to realize here is that he doesn't have his act together (or know enough about who he is and what he wants) to be consistently interested in you. Maybe when he has time to grow up a bit that will change. But right now it would be a mistake to pursue him (as much as you might like him) because if he's treating you this way now while he's "pursuing" you, his behavior will only grow worse once he feels more secure about the fact that you have feelings for him. This kind of person will only end up taking you for granted.

    Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but think you deserve to hear the truth. Best of luck to you! There are plenty of good guys out there who are worth your time and attention.


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