Our dates are at a place his sort of ex works at?

So this guy and I knew each other for a while and he asked me to go for drinks at the local bar

but the girl he went on a few dates with works there and the first night he was weird about it and asked me if I thought she was mad? but said he didn't know she would be here and at first tried to get a table away from her area. And then a week later we are supposed to go there again maybe...unsure yet...

if he was still into her (he said he wasnt) would he avoid that bar with me or would he take me there and not care?


Most Helpful Guy

  • That'a huge red flag. A massively big, fat, grossly large red flag.

    I would never, ever take a girl to any place my ex works at. He's clearly bullshitting you with his "Oh, I thought she wouldn't be here despite this is her place of work. So, is she jealous ["mad"] yet? ...Oh, she's not jealous yet. Well, let's go here for our next date also, and I'll pretend to be surprised when she's working here but hoping she'll be jealous so she'll come crawling back to me so I back ditch you, because I'm not into you despite I'm bullshitting you that I am".

    A big, massive red flag.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Most guys would not take a girl whom they are interested in to any place at which they might run into an ex, especially in the beginning. I won't go so far as to guarantee that he isn't interested in you, but it's not a good sign.

  • Using you...close that book. he sounds like an asshole anyway.


What Girls Said 2

  • He may very well be interested in you, but his sort of ex is his first choice. So, he's taking you there to see if he can make her jealous. If it works, he will go for her and if not, he figures he will stick with you. Play it cool, suggest a different bar, see how he reacts. If you like him, see whether he continues to pursue you, but don't forget that you're worth more than being someone's second choice!

    • I agree and was trying to insinuate what you said.

    • AmongTheApples, thanks for the upvote! We do agree, and you said it well yourself! I know this is totally obnoxious that I'm asking you, but I've seen some of your other answers on here, and I can tell you have a psych background (it's my major!) and that you're quite intelligent. Would you be willing to answer my most recent question? It really sounds like you would have a great perspective and I would be so grateful!

    • You're welcome, and thank you xxblue-eyes for all the compliments :). You're right. I majored in pre-med psychology and will attend med school. I don't mind that you asked me to check your question as that's why I come here, to provide my insights, offer advice, and assist others. I'm tired now though (I finished jury duty yesterday and babysat all day today), so I'll check it out soon and let you know my thoughts on the situation. :)

  • It seems extremely shady if he intentionally wants to go there. Did he break up recently? It really seems like he's trying to get her jealous. Please be careful and if possible, arrange things so you meet somewhere else. If he disagrees or protests, you can draw your own conclusions.

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