Literally amazing first date. Now she's not responding. Why?

Okay so I'll apologize now. It's gonna be long. Please take the time...I truly appreciate it :)

Alright so I went out on an amazing date with this girl last week. She was touching my biceps/arm, laughing, complemented me, initiated a hug at the end of the date while saying she had a good time (wasn't just a friendly hug...she actually squeezed and had some time to it). After that I told her I didn't want to make a mistake this time and that I really like her...then we kissed.

After that, I texted her the morning after asking if she got home safely. She responded with a funny YouTube video. We sent 4/5 texts each and I said goodnight. I called her two days later. She answered but I was awkward on the phone out of nervousness. I asked her out for during the week and she said she was busy Tuesday and Thursday but would let me know later about Wednesday.

She texted me next day saying she's busy but "maybe this weekend we could meet up." I responded asking what her weekend looks like and I also said "I'll see what I have going on and get back to you on it."

It's been 36 hours without a response. What could be the issue? Did I say something wrong? Could one bad phone call have ruined it?

Basically, what are your overall thoughts on the situation?


Please comment with your new opinion based on this update!

I texted her Thursday morning. Said I'm busy Friday but asked if she's free Saturday. She responded almost instantly saying "What were you wanting to do?" so I replied "I got an email for a pottery class...we'd get to make stuff together on a wheel! How does that sound? Seems kinda fun to me, and I thought you may enjoy it too! Or else there are a ton of other ideas... "

That was Thursday morning. Now it's midnight.
So what is going on?!? No response from her. Why would she respond and then not respond to how pottery sounds?

What should I do next? My current plan is to call her Saturday morning.
Okay. So she responded. Asking when and where. I responded answering the questions and asked if I should pick her up at 6:00. She responded a couple hours later saying she's not free at that time but also added in "but maybe tomorrow we could go for a walk or something?" The sent that yesterday so her "tomorrow" is actually today. I responded: "Ah okay. But yeah, a walk would be great! What time are you free? Noon? We can just wander around campus, sounds fun :)"


Most Helpful Guy

  • Nothings wrong, but you need to chill. So you had a good date, big deal. Just chill.

    She showed interested by saying she was busy on the days you suggested, but also suggested a possible alternative day (the weekend). If she wasn't interested she wouldn't have suggested another time. BUT...when she suggested a possible meet up on the weekend you responded with asking her what her weekend looks like? I don't get it. Obviously her weekend wasn't completely booked and she was going to make an effort to see you, so why would you ask about what her weekend looks like? Didn't she imply she might be free by suggesting it? also said you'll have to see what's going on and you'll get back to her on it.

    I'm confused. The ball was in her court (when she suggested the weekend). You put it back in your court by saying you'd get back to her. But now you're waiting on her to get back to you even though you said you'd get back to her?

    You've made it way too confusing. After she suggested the weekend, you should have said "sounds great, let me know". Nothing more.

    I'm not sure who's suppose to get back with who now.

    • Yeah it was my bad for the confusion. But check the latest update. What do you think now?

    • Honestly, it's not good AT ALL that she didn't respond, and has not responded. Don't beat yourself up about the pottery thing either. If this girl was really interested you could have said you wanted to play in a mud puddle and she'd been fine with it.

      Don't call/text/email her again. A non response IS a response. It's highly unfavorable, but it is a response. She may just be too busy to respond right now, or she could be checking her schedule...who knows. But she'll get back to you if

    • Sorry...

      But she'll get back to you if she's interested. From what I've read. She's not.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 7

  • she may be dating multiple guys.

    or she has a really busy social life and if a girlfriend of hers invites her to something more fun she will ditch the less appealing options.

    just leave the ball in her court you have let her know you are interested if she doesn't reciprocate move on alas its her loss.

  • 3 days? That's a bit long. I'd wait til fri lunchtime and send something along the lines of "hey, so did you want me to book in for that class or did you have something else fun in mind?" That assumes she's still interested but gives her an option if she just didn't like the activity. one MSG could be anything. 2 says its not going to happen

  • She might think that you were trying to push her away maybe. you said you would get back to her, so she probably didn't want to answer with "Okay' because it kind of kills convos. She's probably wondering why you haven't "gotten back to her about it"

    help me out? (Have no answers :( )

    can't post a link but here's the second half of the link


  • I think it's because she's waiting for you to get back to her. She probably doesn't want to seem annoying since you kind of cut off the conversation. I suggest you text her and say "looks like my weekend is free. How about you?" Or something along those lines.

  • It's possible that she just knows how to fake a high interest level so she can keep her options open. I'd quit contacting her unless she gets back to you. If she is interested, she'll make some kind of effort.

  • you sent the last message telling her that YOU will get back to her right? then just do it dude, she's waiting on you! when you figure out a plan just send her a message asking her if she's free and suggest your plan.

    • But I asked her a question about her schedule! I thought she would take that as she responds and then I'll see what fits.

    • oh OK I see, it's fine your message goes both ways, we tend to concentrate on the last part of the message which was when you were supposed to get back at her... so it's fine if you text her next, may be she didnot know her schedule looks yet...

    • so how did it go?

  • I think that you said "I'll see what I have going on and get back to you on it" made it seem iffy. Plus, since you didn't get back to her on it, she could be thinking you changed your mind.

    Text (or call) her again with a definite day and time to ask her out.

    In the beginning of dating, while you want to be courteous of her schedule, it's best to give her a specific date or plan, that way it's easier for you to tell her intentions (if she isn't interested, she can't just be vague and say "I'll let you know")

    • How does it make it sound iffy?

      I'll text her tomorrow morning

    • Show All
    • Send me a friend request please. I wanna PM you with a text idea :)

    • Done!

What Guys Said 8

  • I don't think so dude.. you're over-thinking it.

    First of all if that was your last text you didn't give her much room to response. You also can't expect girls to take the initiative to text all the time especially if she was busy. If anything a period of no texting could be good because you won't look like a needy person. She may as well be waiting for your text. Just casually ask her out again..

    • You sure? I'll text her tomorrow morning :)

    • Show All
    • Accept my friend request. I wanna PM you a text idea :)

    • It sounds like she wasn't thrilled with pottery lol.. tbh that's not a very good date idea unless you're already a long-time couple. Good luck on your date.

  • Doesn't sound like you have anything to worry about...not right now anyway. You say you told her that you will get back to her after she offered to meet you on the weekend right? So she is probably just waiting for your call. Nothing to be concerned about at the moment.

    • Check the latest update. There may be something to worry about... :/

    • I think you should maybe step back and not try to initiate anything. Wait and see what her response is before you make your next move.

  • 1. Chill out.

    2. Text/call her in a few days, attempt to make plans to go out.

    3. Chill out.

    4. Don't get pushy or lavish too much attention on her; don't come on too strong. General rule, contact her the way you'd contact one of your good friends.

    5. Chill out.

    This is age/experience talking: if a girl genuinely likes you and is interested in pursuing a relationship with you, then it's actually pretty hard to turn her off, as long as you behave normally (which you did).

    If you behave normally and she shuts off, then don't blame yourself. Fact is that she'd have shut off regardless of anything you did or didn't do.

    It's absolutely not worth wasting time and energy on a girl who doesn't feel as strongly as you do.

    Did I mention: CHILL OUT :)

  • Honestly, if your date was that great, let her get back to you. She already seemed busy during the week and then said "maybe this weekend..." sounds like you're pushing a little too much. If a girl is keen on you she will make time to see you. If she is interested she will want to meet you that weekend and text you.

    As hard as it is, id say wait until the end of the weekend and if she hasn't replied by then, apologize saying you were really busy and ask her how next week looks for her. Shows her that you aren't chasing hard out and you have a life that doesn't revolve around her schedule.

    • Why would she mention "maybe this weekend" unless she actually meant it? Leads me to believe maybe she is waiting on me to get back to her. Maybe she's thinking I'm a douche for making her wIt this long. I don't know.

    • Show All
    • Lol, unless she tells you the day and time of day it's not specific. This weekend, next weekend, whatever. Bottom line; if she wants to meet up with you she will make an effort. "Maybe this weekend" doesn't sound like she's too keen.

    • I read your updates and dude, she really doesn't sound too interested and you are coming off waaaaaay too needy. I know you're thinking everything is great because she is replying and so forth but trust me when I say that if a girl likes you or is highly interested, she will make time and change plans too see you. Right now it looks like she will only slot you in a time slot when she has nothing better to do.

      "Maybe go for a walk?" Here is the whole maybe thing I told you about before.

  • I can see you have been patient... waiting 36 hours is quite good.

    Sounds like she really wanted you on the first date. And I don' see how your actions could have sent her running.

    The next best step I think would to be to talk to her in person if you can. It may be awkward but at least that way you can read her expressions better, and really see if she's still interested.

    • I wanted her too. I just wasn't going to go for more than a kiss.

      I can't talk to her in person. Call or text.

  • Going by what you've wrote, you sounded a lot more interested in her than the other way round...Think about that for a second

  • Because it wasn't that amazing for her

    • Then why'd she kiss me, tell me she had a good time while initiating a hug, respond to me the next day, and answer my call?

    • Show All
    • Haha you make no sense. The kiss could be dodging the awkward. The texting back and answering my call and letting me know about Wednesday? If she's not interested she would have stopped then.

    • Well she didn't stop talking to you because the date was the best of her life, and was super awesome/cool. I mean, relationships aren't logical a lot, so trying to make logical sense of her emotional states isn't really logical.

      It's likely, however, that the date went better in your head than it did hers. Maybe she was on the fence but then decided that it wasn't really that great. Either way you fucked up something if she's not talking to you anymore. I'm giving you possible scenarios.

  • Sometimes things can go too well. Women are weird sometimes. If it goes too them its too good to be true and something must be wrong. She could be talking to a bunch of other guys the same way as you. Or she's just super social but doesn't like you more than friends. You couldve been too nice or not aggressive enough. Or perhaps she very legitimately has a excuse for not contacting you? I've dated several girls and all of the above has happened to me. Don't come to any conclusions until she contacts you and don't be too pushy with the contact because that ll make things worse. Sometimes I've thought a first date want perfect and the girl really liked me, never to hear from the girl again. It happens, be prepared for it. Some women will go as far as to say they love you or have feelings for you never to talk to you again.

    • No don't call her. Don't contact her anymore. Let her come to you if she doesn't contact you again , move on. She's just using you as an option. She probably has a bunch of other guys she's talking to. Chill out or your going to ruin any chance you had with her. Your best chance of getting her to contact you is to completely cease contact. That ll throw her a curve ball and she'll wonder why your not contacting her. Maybe even ignore her the first time she contacts you but at least don't respo

    • Respond right away. Make yourself look busy even if you arent. Maybe even make yourself look like you have other options too. If your only an option to her don't make her out to be anymore than that to you.