Following up on two potential dates?

I'm not great with this stuff so need some advice.

Girl #1- Tina- former co-worker (My last job). We chat on Facebook and text all the time but we are always in and out of relationships (her last one ended in a sad death a year ago), so we've never dated. I want to say to her "I'd like to date you if you're ready to date again, or are interested etc...", but only in person. To that end, the other day we Facebooked about the latest Disney film. She said she hadn't seen it and I said "Well there's our next outing." She 'liked' that, and I sent her a message that told her if she was feeling better next week (She's been sick), that I was free a few days in a row and she should let me know. No reply, but we messaged back and forth since on other stuff. I really don't want to come off pushy, so how would you broach that subject again?

Girl #2- Amy- Got hired in December. I friend-ed her on FB. She told me she was interviewing for another job last weekend that had better hours. Friday, I was getting off work a mere 15 minutes ahead of her. I commented- "I'm going for a much needed beer across the street. Or a margarita." "They make great margaritas!" she replied. "So do you want to join me then?", I said. She hesitated and said "Let me think about it!" (Keep in mind it actually was an icy/snowy night). A few minutes before leaving I light heartedly said, "So you're not getting that drink with me are you?", and she said "No, kinda late and snowy. But will you take a rain check on it?", which gave me hope, and I said I'd buy the first round. "Now you're definitely on" she told me.

She didn't show for her 3 shifts this week, so I texted her and she confirmed they offered her a less than part time gig following holidays, so she accepted the job she interviewed for. I told her I was sad I wouldn't see her again, but congratulated her. She replied "Me too. We'll have to get that drink sometime". I told her "Absolutely. Are you free next week?" No reply.

So, my biggest issue here is I don't want to get too pushy, but if somebody hasn't replied, is there a time/way to say again, 'Well, what's up?'


Most Helpful Girl

  • well id say you are sort of in limbo with both of the girls.Youve asked for dates and theyved sort of given you the runaround, so to speak. Might be playing hard to get.

    You are sort of in the same situation with both girls.

    Youre going to have to be really direct for one last time with both of them, IMO I would text or call both of them and just say in both instances that girl one : How about the Disney movie this sat at 7?

    simple. if she says no then Id say not interested.

    Girl 2 How about getting a drink this sat at 7?

    yes or no.

    IF they keep leading you on after that then I might say they aren't interested

    • So Girl #2, who is listed as single on Facebook, has a boyfriend. I saw her comment about him last night in a post to a friend. It's obvious I was asking her out, and she is the one who brought back up drinks again, so IDK. I don't want in on that drama. Oh well.

      Girl #1 it feels more complicated with, but you're right. I should just take a plunge and say 'Hey, this time, this place, let's do it'. It just fills me with dread that 'No' could signify non interest.

    • Show All
    • Girl 2 is flaky. short version is there's nothing happening there and I don't care. Girl #1 & I did go to Frozen, but after we made our plans she suggested we invite a bunch of friends from work. I couldn't exactly say no, so it turned into a group outing. She came with a guy who seemed to be casual BF, though he was a jerk. 'its a damn princess movie?. She tricked me.' Was weird.

      two days later I went on a 1st date with somebody else, and date 3 approaches :)

    • well that's great :)

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What Girls Said 2

  • When a woman doesn't even reply when you ask her out then I'd say her interest level is very low. This may actually have nothing to do with you though. She could have something or someone else in her life that she is dating. If I look at my own behavior I'd have to admit that I've done this to men before. It's fun to flirt and chat with a guy but then when it comes to actually getting together I ignore it because it's easier than explaining why I can't or don't want to. Tina is probably not ready and Amy seems like she is figuring out her life right now. Finding a new job and getting use to it can be exhausting.

  • ive never dated a co worker its a line I would never cross too much opportunity for awkwardness also may tell other staff and you will be that guy who talk to any female staff not a good place to be

    I opt for online dating

    ask directly wondering what a woman thinks is silly find out be direct.

    i have been direct with men and been rejected I'm still alive you men especially Americans act like if a woman says no the ground beneath your feet will open up and you will be dragged to the depths of all hell.

    if she says no be polite about it and be like thanks for your honesty.

    grow some balls jeez louise

    • Did you read what I wrote? Both these women are FORMER coworkers.

    • women talk what do you think they don't keep in touch with people still working with you...

    • The first woman is from a job I don't work at anymore, and haven't for 14 months. The second girl was hired for a hot second (Literally worked less than 3-4 weeks) and didn't make any friends but me, partially because of her lousy hours she got.

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