Dating; "What the Flaky?"

Today people are on their cellphones, on dating websites for a hookup and quickie -- why are boys and girls so flaky, and why is a gentleman set aside for a testosterone douche bag?

That's my question because most girls I've come across in the 10 years I've been dating, have been the type to want to "Bump n' Go" or "Thanks for the meal. :D"

I don't mind saying that I can't do Flings, (literally can't get turned on) and I dislike paying $80.00 for dinner with a girl who just wants to feel good and pampered with an Ego Stroke to boot.

What is up with all the boys and girls being so materialistic and flaky? Also, what the hell is with all the bitching about boys being immature when you got a good one sitting in front of you after driving an hour just to pick you up for Dinner, holding the door for you, and seating you in your chair besides holding a conversation while you pig out on that meal and ask for more?

Thanks in advance, because though I know the answer, I just want to hear what everyone has to say.


Most Helpful Girl

  • All I can say is many people, especially young people, don't seem to know what they're looking for. Unfortunately, some can't recognize a good thing when it's right in front of them.


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What Girls Said 3

  • $80 for dinner with a girl who isn't your girlfriend? If it's that upsetting to you then take her to less fancy restaurants until you have a more established level of commitment. It sounds like you're trying way too hard to impress girls that aren't that into you.

    But yeah as to why girls can be like this? Sometimes we just aren't ready for commitment. It takes us a little longer to realize how much we like you. And we might not like you as much as you like us as son as you do. And sometimes you like variety and don't just wanna date just one guy.

    • Pr3ttybr0wn, thanks for your reply; I don't think I'll ever be able to date a girl that wants multiple boyfriends, wants the man to jump when she says "jump" but will take her time deciding, can't see the emotional side of how much goes into a dinner, and can easily make excuses in order to be pampered.

  • Maybe you're always attracted to a certain type of girls?

    • A simple and practical answer Daph81. I appreciate the thought. I highly doubt this, but I will NOT dismiss the idea because it has merit~

  • where are you meeting these girls? they don't sound like genuine people that actually care about not using you for dinner or hookups... maybe you should try meeting them in another place, like somewhere that you like to go... like if you are into art then look for a girl at an art museums.


What Guys Said 3

  • We get a lot of these types of posts on here. I blame a lot of it on technology and along with this whole "strive for independence" deal going on. Ironically with the economy the way it is, people really can't afford to be taken out anymore. So many of the girls online look for guys to take them out and act all insecure yet they are the ones with an inbox full of guys interested acting like they have to worry so much about whether the guy is interested or not when they already know he is. The things I mention here are right in their profiles if you browse around enough, you'll see I am not lying.

    I honestly have been more for hook ups for 2 reasons.

    1. Dating has gone so far south to the point where the girls I see on such sites have very specific intentions that I manage to get them to admit to before we even met. Intentions like looking for a roommate, looking for a husband(right on the profile itself), instantly wanting a boyfriend, wanting to move out but can't because she has a kid, must have a bachelor's or higher, must make 50K or higher, must have a specific type of haircut, and so on.

    2. These girls who want these things, are in no position to demand them. I remember one flakey girl I was talking to online and when we exchanged phone numbers I found out through texting her that her profile was misleading. She talking about how much she worked so many hours, but found out she was nothing more than a commission salesperson door to door. So she's pretending she's working so hard when she does nothing but sell stuff and earns well... nothing. Even when I would try to meet her, she'd flake and get back to me later saying she was at the movies. I dropped her. Or I'll get messaged by a drunk girl who is telling me how she is fighting with her ex for custody and she's drunk on the phone with me talking about how she was too lazy to use a condom or a morning after pill. Yet she's talking about how great she thinks she is. Why should I pursue these girls? My last girlfriend had no car and gave her income to her parents and she actually expected me to put up with all the expenses.

    • +1 ^-~ I appreciate your honesty!

    • Thanks. What I've ended up doing now is just leaving a sex ad up on craigslist and going to the gym. It's open and honest NSA so it's not like dating with the intent to mislead and screw. It does happen sometimes believe it or not.

  • What's the point of being unmaterialistic?

    There's no reason to behave one way or the other. Possessions are nice. Free dinners are nice. They make life easier. This obvious.

    • The point, Serp777, is that a healthy combination of the two has merits whereas either one singled out is not healthy. Instead of taking, you receive, instead of always receiving, you give.

      It isn't about how easy you can make life for yourself at the expense of potential friends and family, it is about how much you can give to others after making a niche for yourself.

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    • Next time I ask that you give a better explanation with your first post. It will save me from any misgivings. :) *dismounts high horse*

    • Though in light of your explanation, I humbly apologize for misinterpreting what you meant. :D

  • I put it down partly to the massive consumerism in our society. People wanting instant gratification with minimal effort, unwilling to compromise & sacrifice to make things work.