Why is he still dodging the "boyfriend/girlfriend" titles?

I will try to make this as short as possible but, for 6 months I have been seeing this guy and my feeling for him have grown to the point I have been considering saying the dreaded L word. However, to tell a complicated story in a few shorts words, when I brought this up to him 3-4 months ago and told him I was starting to have feelings for him. He sat me down and gave me the " I care about you and how you feel, but. . . I'm not ready for a girlfriend or a relationship right now" Shpeal. So we continued hanging out... Sleeping at each others houses. Out to Birthday dinners with his parents and all that nonsense. Yes sex is involved after all I'm 25 not 16 and sex is a part of life. We see each other ALMOST everyday and yet, he still avoids the title of boyfriend and girlfriend like the plague. I know he was hurt really bad in his last relationship (TWO YEARS AGO) and that trust issues may have developed from that experience however, when I asked him about a month ago what we were exactly he said we were "seeing each other exclusively". Someone please tell me wtf the difference between being in a relationship and seeing each other exclusively is. Because as far as I can tell they seem to be the same damned thing.

I'm only asking because I do believe I love him at this point and would rather tell him how I feel than dodging it and letting it bother me every time I can't say it out of fear of him flipping out over those three little words.

Now I unfortunately, have a decision to make over whether or not to continue dragging this out the way it has been going. Or to tell him how I feel and attempt to have an adult conversation about where we both stand. Just hoping to get some opinions on wtf his issues are and why he isn't willing to admit this has become a relationship.

And for those of you that are going to say he is in it for the sex allow me to just cut you off right there and say no. He is a good looking guy that could honestly get it anytime he wants it and on a side note he is actually a genuinely nice person who wouldn't use someone. Plus he would be spending a lot less non-sex time with me if all he wanted was the sex.


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  • option one (very rare) - he's just so open-minded that he doesn't care about being put in a small pretty box w the 'boyfriend' label on it. after all, you already act as a couple in every possible way.. so why do you care so much..?

    option 2 (most common) - ..since you care so much, remember he actually sat you down and gave you the " I care about you and how you feel, but. . . I'm not ready for a girlfriend or a relationship right now" speech. how did that feel? you're right, shit. what does it mean (in the opinion of someone who's been there)? he's just not THAT into you. of course it's not just sex, there's much more.. like taking you to his boring b-days w parents. but not 'enough' for him to admit you're 'together'. understand?

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