He's flaked on me, what to do now?

Hi everyone, very low right now :(

I had a date tonight but he flaked and disappeared. He's still online but he hast contacted me. It's almost 6 pm and I'm broken right now.

This is not a first or second date, that makes me more angry! We've known each other for 7 months already.

I don't want to text him or anything, but I'd love to know what to do.

He told me he was almost sure about our date on Friday, but he hasn't called to cancel or anything. How could this be?

We were getting closer than ever, and now he's pulling away from me, leaving me heartbroken. He's a commitment phobe.

PLease, what to do now?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Rejection absolutely hurts in whatever form it comes in. But more so when it's from someone that you thought had enough respect for you to at least be honest that he wasn't interested or whatever the case may be. I think that's your answer, if he doesn't respect you enough to text you his canceling or he's over it or whatever you have to see that as a sign. Time to treat him as he has treated you. This is going to sound tough….you are disposable to him, you are not a priority and as a result you are not important enough to him for him to be willing to break down his own walls. I know I hate hearing that when it happens to me but you already know the answer and you know its true. You deserve better, you will find better and there WILL be someone else. You just can't settle for someone that doesn't put you first. If you feel you need an explanation then send a text but I think he's giving you a glaring answer. Actions speak louder than words. Sorry my dear but based on what you've said, he seems to be not worth your time.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Find another guy, you'd be stupid not to.


What Girls Said 2

  • Commitment phobes are known for flaking when you start to get really close, without giving any reason, at least that's what I've noticed. Maybe you should text him to see what's going on? You deserve to know why he's disappeared all of a sudden!

    • I don't want to text him, that will scare him more! He'll pull away if I insist. My guess is to let him be and do nothing. Maybe he needs his space. Gezz this hurts so bad!

    • Show All
    • I know :( I have been going through something very similar. It's been almost 3 months, and I still don't know what I have done wrong. Meanwhile this guy told me he cared before he did all this! If you don't mind me asking, how do you know that this guy is afraid of commitment? Also, do you know the reason why he is afraid of commitment?

    • Yes, he's been hurt in the past so he cannot commit to anyone. he told me he has walls built up.

      He's a good guy, but he just can't go deep into the relationship. when we are getting closer, he pulls away and start looking for other women online.

      This has been a pattern. I don't know why I a wasting my time on him. He's online right now, and I'm here, asking myself what to so with his rejection. This hurts so bad omg! At this point I don;t know whether to text him or not.

  • Move the fuc on... like a boss.

    • What?

    • Show All
    • Sure, silence works.. but here you are putting thought into what will anger/bother/upset him?... YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT... STOP PUTTING ENERGY INTO HIM.. GOOD OR BAD. JUST DO YOU OWN THING.

    • YOUR*