Is it too soon to give out my phone number?

I tried online dating last summer when I moved to a new city for the summer and had some great conversations but never met up with any guys. Once I moved back home I took down my profile but decided to put it back up around New Years. Since then I have talked to a lot of guys but I haven't felt the chemistry or the want to meet them even text them. Then about two days ago a guy messaged me. Well since then we have been messaging back and forth constantly. Something about this guy feels different and I want to meet him but I'm nervous I'm going to come off as desperate if I give my phone number too soon. Is it too soon only after a couple days to give my number? If not what is a casual way to give it? Thanks!


Most Helpful Guy

  • No. A couple days after actually sounds like the only appropriate time. All the girls online seem to want to string me along (or maintain the email stage for what seems to me, for an extended period of time.

    My perspective is this. The Online thing is to make connections. You email back and for for a couple of days, a week max, and by then you've determined if you have a little bit of compatibility. Then you can meet for a drink confident that you can have an interesting conversation. Maybe by that time instead you can talk on the phone, and meet in person later if you're both busy.

    But you're not supposed to have the relationship or the actual dates through a medium. The point of the online dating thing is to you know, ACTUALLY MEET PEOPLE AND GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. Not stay at home being timid and screen, screen, screen for months.

    I signed up to go on actual dates. Not sit on my computer all day long having conversations with strangers. So that's why I kind of abandoned my OK Cupid profile. It just felt like a complete fucking waste of time.

    I think everybody just just post their phone number in their profile. That's my opinion.

    So to answer your question. No you won't appear desperate if you give this guy your phone number in less than a week. Think about it this way, if you met him on the street, you would have given him your phone number the day you met him.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • you don't give your number unless he asks for it, and even then you don't give it out,

    your number given to him should occur naturally, not when you are offering it nor if he asks for it.


What Girls Said 1

  • Sweetie, I just came on here in the nick of time. I am a connoisseur when it comes to online dating-relationships, and yes---even the marriage part.

    Ever since I had joined Facebook nearly four years ago, this is when it had started. Everything, it appeared, was no longer, "The pub scene," but "The online " instead.

    When I had joined, I had met several guys from all over the continent, and believe it or not, they just seemed to--"find me."

    My husband of now, living in Egypt, found me 3 years ago on Facebook, fell in love with me, and asked me to come to him and meet with him and his family. For months, we had gone on Yahoo and Skype, giving us a chance to know one another "face to face" before just flying off on a whim and a prayer. I ended up staying for 30 days the first time, and 3 and a half the next trip, tying the knot while I was there. I know this all may sound "insane,"perhaps even "scary," but I was 100 percent SURE before I had even packed a bra.

    In April, we have been married for 2 years. Although I have not consented quite yet to live out there, we somehow make it work, and when I can, I do go and visit him.

    Before this, too, I had joined another site, a dating site, free of charge. I had found many guys who genuinely liked me, and had wanted to meet up. Of course, there are going to be "those few" who you do have to be careful of, and since I had educated myself way before on "False profiles and scam artists," I was fairly familiar with what to avoid.

    On this dating sit, I did meet up with the guys, either at my home, with family present, or some lit up place, such as a public spot, where we were surrounded by people. Always a smart thing to do when meeting someone for the first time.

    My suggestion to you, is wait until he asks you for your number. If he is interested in you enough, believe me, he will. I have had guys even want to quickly "rush me" to Skype, but I don't usually do that right away, unless I first, speak with him on the phone and we get better acquainted. I say this, because I have had some in the past, want more than "video chats," and instead, want "cam camisoles," if you get my drift. Although an honest john will have nothing to hide by doing cam, it's not even a matter of that now so much as it is WHAT they want to do on camera. You also have to be careful of those types of "peeping toms."

    Again, wait for him to give you his number so you will know it is HE that is interested, and not some"fly by nite" who will just politely 'take down your number" and later---blow you off. That is disappointing, to say the least.

    If this guy "feels different," and you just may be right, spend a little more time getting to know one another. And then, if he is "into" you enough(remember he couldn't have been too shy to message), he will ask you for this.

    After all is said and done, it would then be entirely up to your own discretion whether it had been a "mistake" or just---fate.

    Good luck, sweetie.xx