Why he acted like he was in love and became cold out of the blue?

I met this guy almost 3 months ago. I felt immediately drawn to him... He made me feel safe, at home, from the first very moment. You know, I'm very, very sensitive and usually bad guys make me feel off as a first impression, even if I'm very attracted (and wrongly decide to see them anyway).

But he was so different. I felt like I always knew him, like he has always been by my side all of this time. Due to abusive ex's,I have issues with being touched, but I feel so at ease with him,I enjoy it, no worries...

He made me smile like crazy,full of endearing names for me,texting/calling all day long,put kisses and hearts in his texts...

3 weeks ago he left with his cousin for a vacation he planned before meeting me.He texted and called as usual for the first week. Then, out of the blue,he stopped.Went cold or silent.Before leaving, he promised he would see me at his retourn a precise day.

It's been over a week he's back,still haven't saw him,he's less cold but just because I told him he was being a jerk.

I don't know if it was something his cousin must have told him,or if it's because I have an emotionally abusive mother,when he left she decided we had to leave the apt we live in in 3 weeks,so it was a crazy period for me...He knows about it and the bad relationship I have with her and other sad stuff.

He's a good guy,always wants to help people,but I noticed that everytime I'm down because of family issues, he kinds of steps back.

He introduced me to his collegues,made me see his brothers pics,took a pic of me I'm positive he showed around...he even joked about putting my pic as his Facebook avatar... I know he doesn't have a hidden agenda... I just can't understand if my anxiety gets indirectly to him and he steps back to protect himself or if his cousin told him to keep back because he believed I could hurt him, since he acted like he was falling fast.

He looked at me like there wasn't anything else in the world, was so into me. When I told him about his disappearing and that it wasn't fair to disappear like that in the middle of the issues I'm facing, he called me to talk about these problems, but never said "I didn't call you because...".

I really like him and the way he used to make me feel until a week ago... He's 33 and a Virgo.


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What Guys Said 1

  • I don't think we can tell you what changed with him. Only he can do that. You have told him that his behavior changed and he's tried to improve but whatever caused the change has not been addressed. To find out you need to press him about why he views you differently. If he avoids the question or gives you inadequate answers you can try ruling things out: "Did your cousin say something about me?", "Is it because of my mom?" and so on. Specific questions are harder to evade. If he's holding something against you you have right to know what it is. He might not tell you but it's worth trying. Doing nothing might allow something to fester.

    • You know... He started to get closer and closer again... I saw him and I could feel he still feels for me. Went on with texting then, when I told him that it was hard to see him since he's working double shifts he stopped replying. He really doesn't want to be pushed. I'm letting him be. My heart is open for him, I don't have a timer.

    • That sounds like the right thing to do. Do you suppose it would help to text him supportive messages that don't ask anything of him like "I'm there for you"?

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