Should a man be intimately kissing an abused woman of 25 years, now divorce on her lips and fondle her breasts

If a man says he is willing to set aside his desires for a woman so he can be her friend, is it appropriate for her to allow him to kiss her intimately on her lips and fondle and hold her breasts. She calls them warm hugs...Should he even be doing this to her... What damage may this do to her low self esteem?

She was emotionally, sexually, and physically abused for 25 years of marriage. She only knew the man she married. If she didn't submit to his sexual demands he would slap her up. It started on her wedding night.

Now she met this guy last May after being divorced for 2 years. She hid from her ex, most of the first year by staying inside during certain times of the day fearing her ex would find her. She was terrified of the thought of coming across him.

What is a warm hug? and should be taking advantage of this woman. She says she's emotionally connected to him.


Most Helpful Girl

  • The man should take it really slow and maybe for a while just cuddle with her, and see if she takes the initiative. If she doesn't, though doesn't pull away either, never hurts to just ask her if you could kiss her. If she gives the okay, give her a gentle kiss, and go from there.

    That's terrible that she was abused for so long, but that doesn't mean that she'll be 'damaged goods' and untouchable forever. The man will just have to take things slower than usual.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Is that man her significant other or a stranger?

    It sounds like she's coming out of her shell and recovering from what she went through. If she's okay with what's happening then she's okay with it.

    But said man should proceed with caution and be very okay with stopping whatever it is he's doing if she relapses into a dark place and becomes un-okay with what is happening.

    • She told me last week she is slowing down with said activity. Her self esteem seems to be lower than it was. She now considers herself to be a broke woman. Well...him to.

    • She met him last May. 9 weeks after they met they were talking about how to get married. Then she decided she can't marry him. Then he told he was dying from MS. Only had a couple years left, was diagnosed 2 years ago. 4 weeks later he told good news he's getting better. No longer going to die from it. He told her all his friends left him shortly after we was diagnosed.

      She was asking and taking left over food ingredients from work to take to him, he was always short of funds and food.

    • Okay so he sounds really sketchy...

What Guys Said 1

  • the title is very graphic, but the content makes no sense, are you posting anonymously and still using a hypothetical situation for some reason? and where the hell did kissing and fondling breasts come from, you are not balanced.

    • The situation is real. The woman is a dear friend of mine. She found some guy that said he is willing to set aside his desires for her and be her friend yet he is kissing her intimately and fondling her breasts. The information is real. She is allowing him to do these things to her. It drives me nuts. Her self esteem is so low. She now thinks she's a broken woman. She didn't ever say this until she started letting him do this to her. She is so mixed up and He's taking advantage of it!

    • oh man, I'm sorry for being so hostile then, I thought it was you being a to her, if she's not on the same page...the technically "right" thing to do is let her live her life, but if you care about her, talk to this guy. if he doesn't understand why his actions are inappropriate, smack him in the mouth

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