Dating again after a bad relationship -- any tips/experiences?

Does anybody have advice for dating again after a relationship that knocked the wind out of you?

My ex boyfriend was very critical and left me feeling like I have nothing to offer anyone. He eventually started seeing someone else and will probably marry her, which is salt in the wound.

I know that fixing my faults (which I am keenly aware of) is a step in the right direction, but what are some ways to feel good about dating again? This experience has really sucked any hope of enjoying a relationship out of me. I'm taking my time, but I don't have many years of men finding me remotely attractive left, so I'm not sure what to do to speed things up.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Go on dates with guys who are more supportive. You'll probably find it a relief to go out with someone who isn't so critical all the time, and appreciate them for it.

    You'll often find that a relationship didn't work out because specific things that you want or need from a relationship weren't there. It's these things which the most of the 'strain' is on when things aren't working out. However, that makes it that much more of a relief when you find someone who can offer you those things, and it helps you learn just exactly what you want and need from a relationship.

    • How do you know if someone is supportive? My ex seemed like a great guy during the first three months or so of our relationship. You're right, though, it bugged me that I didn't think he had much of a sense of humor, but I pushed past it thinking I was being superficial and too picky.

    • Well the only way to really tell is by seeing how they act when they're confronted with your faults (or anybody else's). Supportive guys try to be understanding. They try to empathize or at least sympathize with you.

      A good way is to just talk to them and find out what they're like. People like talking about themselves, so just asking them about their lives and interests and you should get a pretty clear picture.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Just date casually with no expectations and avoid talking about the ex period.


What Girls Said 1

  • The first thing I woudl do to 'speed things up' is stop blaming yourself for what happened. The guy was the issue. I promise if you just let it go and be yourself, a guy who seems too good to be true will come your way and prove to you that there really is someone worth your time out there.

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