Firstly, this is more of a vent than anything (I really need to right now so forgive me haters)
My life is effed to the brink. I was born to Indian parents in a western world, in a poor, immigrant suburb where there was lots of crime.
My parents were very conservative Indians and only cared about our place in the Indian society..they wanted wealth, status etc. They wanted to show off how brilliant their son is. I was forced to do nothing but study. I was forbidden from dating, and severely restricted from even hanging out with friends. They were extremely stingy with cash. I only got to go to the movies twice in my entire childhood (and that's only because of a compulsory school excursion). They would, however, donate $1000 a year to some religious orgs. They would monitor who I'm on the phone with, and wouldn't let me bring anyone home. No contact with girls was allowed.
As a result, I grew up socially awkward - very few friends, and no experience with girls. I was an ace student though, in spite of being bullied for 13 years straight. Now I"m a 27 year old doctor.
I had extreme difficulty making new friends at university, as people could tell something wasn't right with me. I tried working part time to improve my social skills and earn some cash, but that wasn't enough to pay the bills and study at the same time (med is tough), so I had to live with parents. They interfered again and prohibited me from working, for fear I won't become a doctor in one go, and that I might become socially spoiled. It was back to the sh*tty old life again. I had no choice but to be stingy with my cash. i.e. I can't just let loose and have fun and live off an inheritance.
I did work on so many aspects of my life though..I became socially brave, funny, a great communicator, athletic and well built. I am in fact a very good looking guy.
Re the dating scene: I had some connection with several Indian and Asian girls, but the problem is, I think we were at the edge of the generation gap for cultural change - they were all obedient like I was, and there was no such thing as dating outside their race..hell there wasn't even such a thing as dating for Indians. If an Indian girl liked an Indian guy, he had to be from the same ancestral state, religion and caste. FFS. To make things worse, ethnic girls prefer whites over their own race (much more than white girls do)
I had nothing going for me in the Indian community..those girls didn't want me, and I didn't like the Indian culture any way.
Asians don't like Indian guys. Whites don't like Indian guys. It's fked.
The problem now is, at 27yr of age, most of the girls I know are married or in serious relationships. The singles usually have 3-4 guys they're already sexually into/attached (exes) or have other emotional baggage.
I can't flirt at work either, due to strict standards against doctors. If a female nurse flirts with us its OK, but if we flirt with them, it's "sexual harassment".
I have many acquaintances but no real friends (the few friends I had are already married).
I have no way of meeting new girls, let alone singles.
I've tried online dating - I get rejected just after they see my pic. No woman sends me a message first.
I've had to take time off work. No friends, girlfriend, hope..nothing.
And I just don't get it. I did my best to conquer all hurdles, I'm a rags to ritches person, very good looking, sporty and extremely romantic..but I just can't meet anyone who's interested in me.
This is why I'm suicidal.