Is it selfish to want someone for yourself...if you genuinely believe you are best for them?

Is it selfish to want someone for yourself, but even when you think it is for their own good? Is "selfish" the appropriate term? if you genuinely believe you are best for that person? You want them to be with you for their own sake?

Does that mean you aren't considering their feelings or perspective, and it therefore makes you "selfish"? Is it egotistical to think only you are the best option for them, and therefore is "selfish", or whatever the best term would be?


Most Helpful Girl

  • No. Even if you are not best for them - if you like them you are allowed to hope, wish, dream, pray, seek, attempt to make them like you back. Just like there is nothing wrong with eating when you are hungry. Being selfish would be not allowing them to reject you or forcing them to like you against their will etc...


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • almost everything we do is "selfish".

    However, thinking you're the best that could happen to someone is not "selfish" in my opinion, it's arrogant and patronizing. Acting like you know the best for someone else is cocky.

  • It is selffish because the other person should matter too, not just want you want.

    • I agree. But what if that person has a history of making wrong or bad decisions in regards to their relationships? Or just in general.

    • Sometimes you have to let them mess up its hard work trying to change a person and it will only cause you stress amd pain in the end

  • just normal. taking it to the actual level of making them for yourself is selfish.

    thinking & wanting=normal

    acting on it= selfish


What Guys Said 2

  • Best as in to save and protect them from people that will just use them and break their heart?


    Best as in 'I am the Alpha and the Omega baby'.

    First one not so bad, second one very bad.

    • Best as in you know you and hers potential together is greater than hers and any others' potential. Delusional or based on past experiences with this girl/woman (though would that matter?)

  • I think it sort of is. You should want what is best for them. If you have an objective point of view(important here) and observe that she would truly be happier with you/the other guy is an asshole, then that is selfless. However, maybe you don't know the person as well as you thought you did or they are changing as a person. Wanting someone for yourself is innately selfish