Girlfriend broke my trust. How do I get it back?

I have been dating this girl for the last few months. Things have moved faster than planned. We are both Bipolar. It is a very sticky situation. She is married, but is going through a divorce. Her ex makes us look normal. One minute he will be calm and understanding, the next he will flip out and constantly harass her and sometimes myself.

Anyways he manipulates her easily. Besides him, our relationship was going well. I really struggled to do this, but I let her borrow my truck while I work nights. The first few times it was ok. But one day she said she had one of her BP impulses and took my truck to the bar and hung out with her ex. He got her drunk and she almost got raped in the parking lot. He just walked away. She came to my job at 4am crying and I calmed her down and called the cops... She is ok, but It was hard to give her my trust. I want to know if she really cares for me. She treats me like a king, our sex is great, and she seems to really love me.(That happened too fast too.) Here are my questions.

Does she really care for me?
I understand having the impulses of BP. I got Beavis and Butthead tattooed on my wrists...
Do you think she may be taking advantage of me?
How do I gain trust for her? Thanks


Most Helpful Girl

  • wait…. ur dating a married girl? dude come on…. at least wait until the divorce is over…

    if u really love and respect her u will do whats right for the both of u…

    she cares for u but her head is a bit confused because the other guy isn't completely out of the picture, which is why i suggest that happens asap before u get into anything more.
    u need to talk to her. like for a while. u ask her, look what do u want? after she tells u, u say, well this is what i want….

    hopefully what u both want is the same. if she's confused u need to give her time. if she's worth it, i bet you'll wait. thats all i can say.

    • Neither of us are Religious. The only reason she married him was because she was pressured from her family.

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    • well as long as ur doing that then i see no problems here. i wish u all the best

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • Yes she loves you, but she's bipolar. No matter how much she loves you, she's going to do random crazy, nonsense shit from time to time, for no reason. You're just going to have to deal with it. She has a chemical imbalance in her brain, that will make her do random implusive things with no rhyme or reason.

    I don't think she's taking advantage of you, but I also think that you should put things on hold with her until she gets shit sorted out with her HUSBAND. They aren't ex's until the DIVORCE is FINAL.

    Honestly, you really can't. There is no saying what she can/will do. Whether she wants to or not. She has a mental illness. Its not her fault, but having normal expectations of her, compared to a regular person just isn't fair. Especially when things aren't completely settled between she and her husband. Being with her means that you're just going to have to deal with extra, especially if she isn't on medication for it.

    Good luck to you.

    • Yeah I have BP, I know how it is. I learned to suppress my impulses. I see it as my problem, and not others. It's a shame to say your right about the ex thing, She was pressured into the marriage. Neither of us are religious, we don't hold it as sacred

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    • That's what I finally talked her into. I am getting and Injunction Against Harassment tomorrow, and she is getting an Order of Protection.

    • I hope everything works out.

  • she probably does care for you but the bipolar thing makes it a bit more complicated to answer your question - I have no experience with that so I don't know if you can blame her actions on that. apparently you do know what it's like though so maybe try to put yourself in her shoes and ask yourself if you would have done the same thing if you had one of your impulses? maybe she needs to get on a different medication and then you can see what your relationship would be like without the bp issues?

    • There will always be issues. I learned to control my impulses. It's hard but not impossible. I see it as my problem, and no one elses. But in return I have severe anxiety issues. Which leads to insecurities and trust issues

  • Once it's crumpled It can not be perfect.

  • She sounds like too much of a mess to be with. I get the whole impulse thing, even normal people get those. But this entire situation is just messed up. How can someone's family HONESTLY pressure them to marry someone else? I'm pretty sure that's illegal in the US. Basically, I think you deserve someone better who doesn't use your truck to do stupid things, and who doesn't potentially lie about their ex (or in this case... husband -_-)
    Really dude, she's not worth the time. She sounds like she might be manipulating you for comfort, what with her moving crazily fast and so on.

    • She never lied to me about him. I knew from day one. You don't understand BP till you have it like me and her do. I am also a mess. She caters to me and really seems to love me. I know what its like to be shunned because I am different. We understand each other like no one else can.

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    • Looking for a reason. I have been in a lot of bad relationships, but this one feels different. I may get hurt, that's just how it is. And her family has old fashion bull shit Christian values. She is easily persuaded. And you really didn't answer one question that I asked.

    • I'm just saying how I see this. Apparently she's not going to break up with him "for the kids", which is by the way an overused statement made by manipulative people who want to have their cake and eat it too.
      I'm just saying that she doesn't seem like a girl who's worthy of your trust.

What Guys Said 2

  • I'm not an expert on BP, but sorry - she's not trustworthy. She's not even single, so she's cheating on her ex with you. You can spin that all you want, but it's a fact. what she does to him, she does to you. and it's evident since she's messing around with him. I doubt she was almost raped, TBH. Did the cops arrest the ex?

    • I realize that, we agreed to an open relationship. She has a history of cheating, so why make it taboo? Her and her ex just had one of those "lets stay together for the kids" relationships. She hasn't had sex with him in a few years. No they didn't but tonight he drove around till he found my truck, and harassed her, she had to call the cops, and still no arrest. I was at work unfortunately.

    • Yeah' good luck with that

  • dude, honestly. its not worth it. i know its hard to see it that way but this is a bad situation to be in. hazardous eventually even. for one, she is still married. which honestly doesn't matter much when you are in love. but consider this, thats legally still his wife. and he seems like the type that flips out on people. so lets just say one day he gets pissed your seeing her and decides to eliminate you out of the picture? is she worth dieing for? she may care for you on some level, but from what im seeing it the type of caring for a base or homeplate if you will. someone she can come back to if things go bad with someone else. it hurts at first, but find someone else man, this is literally a hazardous relationship.

    if you really want to know whether this relationship is good or not, write down the pros and cons; everything good and everything bad that has happened.

    best of luck man, but honestly id move on.

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