I know I'm ready to move on, but why can't I take that step? What's stopping me? Or am I just kidding myself?

I broke up with the ex almost three years ago, I lost all faith in the opposite sex, for a while, basically not trusting any guys, as I saw most of them were after one thing only etc .

Now last year I went on a few dates, even if I actually really liked the guy, I noticed I was holding back quite a lot, and on one of the dates the guy kept asking me why I was so tense and withdrawn.

I honestly tried my very hardest to just relax and enjoy his company, but I can't deny I was still holding back. Needless to say he never wanted to see me again, which did hurt a bit but I only had myself to blame.

Now recently I met a guy, who I found we had some sort of connection/spark. I weren't tense/withdrawal like before, I mean I did warm to him and flirt with him a bit, but I still noticed I was holding back again. I mean we danced together, but I found after a while just got uncomfortable and unintentionally denied him making any more moves... but I'm in contact with him on Facebook now and hoping to make some amends (hopefully) cos I'm really attracted to him!

I seriously don't know what is wrong with me...


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm having the same issues as you. I broke up with my ex a year and a half ago because he treated me like crap and was suffocating. Until recently I wanted nothing to do with men. I went on a few dates here and there, but I just wasn't into it and they were all to pushy. I've been talking to this one guy and he is really nice and it's the first guy in a long time that has sparked my interest and I get a good feeling about him. Unfortunately, I hold back a lot with him because I'm afraid to be in love again too and have a relationship repeat. What helps me is that this guy takes things really slow with me and is actually trying to get to know me, which is a breath of fresh air. Just take baby steps and follow your heart. Its been working for me, maybe it will for you :)


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  • You are currently having trust and intimacy issues because of your previous relationship. You should realice that its not your fault what happened to you and work hard on rebuilding your confidence and self-esteem. Also take it slow with guys and dont let them Access your heart unless they've proven to be trustworthy and to really mean how they feel. Only your heart will know when you are ready and when you are it will be a guy that is worth taking the leap for.