Advice on how to take it slow and not make him feel pressured?

So we're starting out casual, no string or labels. Initially, we both had our reasons for wanting a short term fling but with the perks of a real relationship. But after we actually met, BOOM, we just clicked. He started falling for me after we had sex.

OK, so I most definitely know we're falling for each other, and now we both want this. We're still scared. We both have the habit to rush all in at once and then get really hurt because we didn't really take the time to get to know the other person.

Neither of us knows how to go slow, or how to have ANY kind of relationship that isn't sexual or completely platonic.

He's been slipping up a ton and dropping all the hints that it's getting hard for him too not to call me his GF. He even got onto the topic of credit scores, "just in case I was curious for 'our' future" last night! LMAO We're not even in a committed relationship, so yeah, he's feeling it too.

So I need some tips, advice, help on how to keep myself calm and in check, and not scare him or make him feel pressured. It really hard NOT to ask about some of the hints he drops, but when I do, he get's really shy again.

I'm doing just fine with this, and the pace. I can wait and be patient, because he really makes me feel like I can be me. I trust him, and I feel so calm and safe with him. I DO NOT want to screw this up by getting rushed. HELP! Please? lol


Most Helpful Girl

  • you should probably have this conversation with HIM. How else will you know what the other is thinking, wants, and needs in the relationship right now. Tell him you like how things are and that taking time is not a problem for you. At this point, you guys really don't need labels. And if it does so happen that labels are thrown around and used no big deal, just take the punches as they come. :)

    • I have been talking to him. And that's the problem. He gets shy and I get nowhere.

    • Show All
    • So when I ask him about things that hint on a relationship, things HE said and did, he realizes that he was slipping and showing his true feelings and get scared.

    • just keep saying encouraging things even if he doesn't respond, we can still hear them and wait. you can also just SHOW him that you care and love HIM instead of talking about it and again wait. its just about waiting.

What Guys Said 1

  • You should not have had sex.

    I mean I don't know ... it's like an avalanche. It's already coming down and you're asking how to stop it lol.

    Just keep doing what you're doing but obviously it's hard... that's all you can really do. Stop having sex if you still are. Give it a month.

    • Im pretty certain both of us will be unhappy if we stop having sex. He enjoys spending time with me. We don't NEED to be having sex, it's just a perk. Everything is already as if we're in a relationship, he just wants more time to feel safe before asking for that commitment. I want to show him that I'm not going to treat him like the other girls did, that I'm going to respect his space and privacy, but I am worried he will think I'm losing interest if I back off.

    • Well if you feel the same way and you believe you're going to end up together then fuck it... just go with it. You'll prove yourself during the relationship.

What Girls Said 1

  • see him once a week, and talk to him (phone) like twice a

    a week or something