Do you believe in fate? Should I wait for him to see how this plays out or move on?

I had been hanging out with this very shy but super nice guy that I've known for many years. We had hung out in the past to go on a couple of dates but the both of us were too shy to make a move. Back in January we started talking/going on dates. We got along so incredibly well. We made out a few times and our personalities just clicked. He told his family and friends all about us.

The first night we hung out he mentioned to me that he had sent out his application for jobs all over the United States. He wasn't sure if he would even hear back so I didn't let it worry me. Fast forward to a few weeks later I could tell he was acting a bit distant and I finally called him out on it.

He had been getting phone interviews/actual interviews all over the place so he said he didn't want to get too serious with me until he knew where he would end up for his full time job. This is completely understandable and I respect him so much for not stringing me along just to up and leave me.

I really like him a lot and we agreed in one text message that we would keep it casual for the time being. (We have not had sex and I'm not sure I'm ready for that anyway) Where do I go from here? I'm not desperate by any means and have had many other guys approach me. I just feel something special with this guy and I don't want to blow my chances in case he ends up in a nearby area to me.

I can't just forget about him because I felt a really good connection with him but I don't think I can really do much other than wait and see. Has anyone ever been in a situation similar to me? How did it turn out?

I wonder if he is feeling the same way as me.. he seemed down and out when we talked about it.

It sounds like he should have his job situation figured out within the next few months. He wanted to get himself situated before his student loans start kicking in. I just hope all of this wasn't a cop out or something but I doubt it was. So hard:(


Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes! Awhile ago I was seeing a med student, and I really really really liked him. However, he can't control where he does his residency, told me he didn't want to be serious because of this. We also had a connection. We are great friends now. My point is, if things are supposed to work they do. It sucks, I get that believe me! I think that if you care, I mean really care, like want him to be happy even if you can't be with him care, then be his friend, and support him and just deal with the hurt. Sorry I can't give you a better answer.

    • How did things turn out for you with your guy? Mine is in the medical field too. I'm just totally bummed out. His family is from the same area as me so I have some hope that he wouldn't want to be too far away from home since he is an uncle etc. He also has all of his guy friends around this area. It's just that the career he went into in the medical field has limited jobs throughout the U. S.

    • he's still a friend he's going hell across the country next year.. Now I talk to him about other guys, drink with him, he helps me in school. It took me months and I cried over someone I am not even dating. Pathetic I know. But you have to remember what's met to be will be. It has to you have to believe that because if you don't, you'll go crazy trust me I'd know.

    • Very good advice. I appreciate it and it's nice to know someone can relate so I don't feel nearly as crazy. I can't believe how hung up on him I've become in a few months time. At least he was honest about his job versus allowing emotions to get even stronger. I've spent some nights crying too in frustration because there is literally nothing I can do other than to wait and see what happens with the job interviews. I feel so helpless :(

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