He gives me mixed messages - but maybe because I gave HIM mixed messages?

I just started hanging out with someone that an older friend introduced to me - she is sort of a mother figure to him & he spends a lot of time with her family. I was unsure about everything, so to protect myself, I told the mutual friend that I " didn't really want a boyfriend" & was just looking for new friends. We had a group hangout at a bar, him buying me drinks, talking, and dancing together. I went to a party at his house the next day, & we all went out again, him buying me drinks, hand-holding, dancing again (he was very handsy), even two separate occasions when he called me "babe" & said "I really like you". He offered to drive me home but instead we ended up in his room watching movies - he suggested & I went along. We fell asleep & he wrapped his body around me, held my hand, & kissed my ear. He kissed my ear & caressed my arm throughout the night. The next morning we didn't address any of the night before, but I did stay at his house the ENTIRE day just talking again. In telling funny life stories to each other, I mentioned how hard it was for me to be friends with guys & how uncomfortable I am when they try to "make a move" (Mistake to mention?). I just recently talked to the mutual friend again & she said that he really enjoyed my company, was very impressed by me, & really wanted to be friends. She re-iterated how I didn't want a boyfriend & all that "romantic stuff" & he said that he totally agreed & that "complicated" is not what he wanted either. Wellll, if he didn't want it complicated & he wants to make sure we get to be friends why did HE initiate all the physicality? Its worth noting he recently got out of a long-distance relationship. I guess Im wondering if him hearing that I dont want anything serious makes him respond similarly to protect himself also? Or maybe if "being friends" is just a guys way of safely dating again after being hurt?


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  • sounds like he wants to be more than friends. maybe you should stop mentioning that you're not looking for a boyfriend, and have your friends drop hints that you like him? it makes sense to me that hearing that you don't want anything will make him put up a wall too.